Needy

Day 59 of Our Adventure. Less than 12 hours away from Kirk's big return to work tomorrow morning.
There are mixed feelings at this juncture. Kind of like having your youngest child graduate from high school and move out to pursue their dreams. The end of one adventure and the beginning of another.
We have carefully chosen our activities in the last few days, trying to anticipate and manage pain levels. Kirk had planned to go have lunch with the Brethren yesterday but decided it would be better to rest. Sometimes you have to rearrange your plans to fit your life.
I don't think I have had one clear, concise thought this whole weekend. I have tried to focus on the task at hand only to have it interrupted by thoughts of Kirk being at work. Examining my anxiety on this subject leaves me unable to name one thing that concerns me, just general uneasiness. I have been trying to put a name on it and I have finally decided I must just be needy.
Kirk and I joke about "neediness" a lot. Either of us can tell the other, at any time, "I think I am feeling needy" and we immediately turn our attention to each other. This phrase has rarely been uttered by Kirk and when it is utilized, it is usually me interrupting a string of motorcycle rides interspersed with mandatory "work" days. After all, someone has to pay for these rides.


One would think that having their spouse home for almost two months, unable to bend over to pick up their socks, load the dishwasher or do the laundry, would be quite enough time spent together. I don't really see it that way. I have actually learned that there is so much more that I need from him that his ability to trim his own toenails.
I have been emotionally exhausted this weekend, mostly filled with my neediness thoughts, I guess. Bottom line.....I need this man. I need him to be happy and fulfilled. I need him to need me at his side. I need his smile, his laughter and his hand to hold. I need him to protect me, strengthen me and tell me when I am getting too needy:)
Turns out that Heavenly Father knows these things too. That is why he has blessed me with this amazing man. It is also, quite possibly, the reason we have been blessed with Our Adventure. We are reminded every day how much we need each other in a world where everyone seems to be searching for solitude. I've got to tell you, life is so much better together than it could ever be alone.
Because I have one of those very odd brains I keep thinking of acronyms for the word NEED. Here are just a few for your giggling pleasure:
Never Ending Emotional Day
Now Entering Emotional Dump
Not Everyone Enjoys Dogs.....(where did this come from?)
New Experiences Emit Delirium
Yep. I am needy. I am okay with this.
Thank you for letting me vent. And Please, pray for my man that everything will go well tomorrow. I am sure it will, but everyone needs that little extra assurance that knowing their friends and family are praying for them brings.
Wait, that means you might be needy too.....just saying;)

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