Goodbye 2012

I can hardly believe that it is December 31, 2012. The end of one crazy year!
It has been 170 days since Our Adventure began. It has flown by and crawled at the pace of a snail all at once, if that even makes sense.
A more beautiful day could not have been offered for the beginning of our journey. We had breakfast together and then began focusing on our individual "priorities" for the day. Kirk had found a weight lifting set in the classifieds and had made the purchase and the pick up before 10:00 AM. He loaded "Inga" the dirt bike, on the trailer and went to pick up our favorite son-in-law Steven and nephew, Kenny, who would be joining him on his third ride of the week.

Third ride of the week?!?! Has this man no job? Responsibilities? A wife with a Honey-Do list?

Yes. Yes. And, yes.

This is the life of a Firefighter. When the opportunity for Kirk to transfer back to the Fire/Paramedic side at the Orem Department of Public Safety, it almost seemed like an answer to prayers for this motorcycle riding man. Firefighters work a grueling 48 hours on duty and then enjoy 96 hours off duty. It is not a schedule for the normal man. ;)  The Brethren refer to each 48 hours on as a "Tour of Duty". Kirk had just transferred back at the end of June and had served three tours before Our Adventure began.

Back at home I was making preparations for an early birthday dinner for Steven including his favorite dessert, lemon meringue pie, which turned out pretty great, if I do say so myself. ;)



I had just tidied everything up when the phone rang. It was Steven. "Kirk has been in a motorcycle crash but he is okay." His voice was so calm that I thought he was just teasing. "You are so funny" I said, "What time will you guys be home for dinner?" He repeated what he had said the first time and added, "They life-flighted him to Utah Valley and he should be there by now." I told him I would head right over. I was trying to digest three key points from the phone call; crash, life-flight and he's okay.

I immediately knelt down and prayed with all of my heart, "Please Heavenly Father, please let him be okay." I felt an overwhelming sense of peace; everything would be fine. I held on to that moment with an ever tightening grip that almost became a strangle hold over the next few days. I even started to doubt the feeling. Did I just make this up in my head. Did I really get an answer to my prayer? I think this is human nature. We ask for Heavenly Father's help and then doubt the blessing we have been given. Why do we do this? Wouldn't our lives be so much easier if we just believed?

Over the next few days we were granted a miracle. Millions of miracles! The word "Miracle" became our new mantra. Again, doubt would creep in and make me question the blessings..... "Are we worthy of these miracles?" The answer? Heavenly Father thinks so.

Over the next 170 days we have watched our life become rich with blessings. We are even closer as husband and wife. Our girls, Bryn and Dani and her husband Steven, have given up so many of their own lives to be available at any moment.






We have enjoyed the support, love, prayers and service from family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and our ward family. They carried so much of the load for us that we almost felt weightless. I never realized what my actions, bringing a meal to a neighbor, running errands for another or praying for them during their time of need would do for them. It literally "lightens their load". Another revelation for us both was that we could "feel" the prayers that were offered for us. I don't even know if there are words to describe this. I do know that I will forever be grateful for those prayers.



We are optimistically looking forward to our January 22nd meeting with Starlene Clayson NP at Dr. Gardner's office. We anticipate a clean bill of health and a 100% clearance to return to work with the Brethren at the Fire Station. It will be a celebration of epic proportions!




We leave you at the end of 2012 with this:

The memories of our Adventure filled year
Are full of miracles we'll always hold dear.
Millions of lessons and blessings galore
With all of this, who could ask for more?
But more we were given, much more we received
Our greatest lesson was just to Believe.
Believe in miracles, great and small,
Believe in the love God gives us all.
Believe in the goodness of family and friends
Whose service and prayers seem to have no end.
Believe in this truth, that God has a plan
And He'll help you through if you'll just take His hand.
He'll love you and guide you and help you to grow
He'll be right beside you, of this we know.
So through this Season, with all you receive,
We hope that you will always Believe.

May 2013 bring you copious amounts of happiness and blessings! You are worth it!

Love to you all!
- Posted by Gena Bertelsen using BlogPress from my iPad

Conversation Piece

Another week has passed in Our Adventure.

Today is the 80th day since it all began. Whew! Kirk says it definitely feels like it has been that long. I think you might get a different perspective whilst wearing a turtle shell back brace.

He has been back to work, light-duty, for 3 weeks now and comes home each evening totally exhausted and ready to crawl in bed. Considering the alternative.....exhausted is absolutely exceptional.

We had a great day yesterday. We had originally planned to take a ride up the canyon and see the beautiful fall leaves up close. But, as I was reaching for my shoes my dog Buddy nudged his way into my closet as if to show me which shoes I should pick. They were the walking shoes. Putting those shoes on makes him the happiest dog in the world as he knows he will get to join me for a walk. He became very vocal as I picked up the walking shoes and I told Kirk that Buddy was hoping we would go for a walk instead. He got his way. And it was perfect.

We went about two miles, just North of our neighborhood, and roused just about every dog you could imagine into a barking frenzy. It was not our normal route so these dogs are not as familiar with Buddy the Wonder Dog and his gentle, playful nature. It is either that or they are extremely jealous of his doggy backpack that he wears on our walks.


Buddy is quite an amazing dog. He is a shoe and furniture critic. He creates enough hair in one week to make another dog and, he loves everyone. Buddy is such an obedient dog that he stays right with us when we walk as if he were the poster dog for the "We don't need no stinkin' leashes" brand. No leash, just a happy friendly dog that wants to meet everyone. This last trait is not always welcomed by others. In fact, most people Buddy would meet on our walks would initially be afraid of him. He is very unique looking and if you didn't know him, you might wonder about his level of friendliness. I decided to use him in an experiment; what if I changed everyones perception of him? Would people still be afraid?

We took him to PetSmart and purchased a doggy backpack. Upon returning home, Bryn and I put it on him and took him for a short walk. He acted as though he had been punished and walked with his ears back and with a little droop in his tail. I didn't give up. I started putting it on him for every walk so that it would become routine. Almost immediately people changed. Everyone wanted to pet him. All that changed was their perception! He had this backpack on which made him appear to be a "working" dog and everyone knows that working dogs are friendly! And, working dogs want to visit and be touched. Buddy cannot believe his good fortune.


Kirk's turtle shell has become a lot like Buddy's backpack. Wherever we go, people want to talk to him, ask him what happened or, as in an earlier post, ask if it can stop a bullet:) We ventured in to several pawn shops yesterday and met so many people that seemed to have so much in common with us. Whether they lived in Mapleton, rode motorcycles or had back problems, we were connected. Kirk and I were talking about how his shell is like a people magnet and he said it has opened up so many conversations with people he didn't even know. He calls it a "Conversation Piece", you know, like one of those great big twisted pieces of glass that you use as a decoration and people are drawn to ask questions about it. It starts a conversation. That is another blessing of Our Adventure.


Saturdays have become our "let's just be together" day. Our old "normal" would have seen weekends come and go with most of our time spent separately, focused on whatever we each made a priority. I was worried about laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning and Kirk was more "fun" oriented with motorcycle riding or tinkering on guns when he was not at work. The new "normal" includes plenty of focus on each other. Priorities have been balanced where they should have been all along.


There are so many ways, in the busy life that we all lead, to lose focus on the important things and we are living proof of that. I think you become so comfortable in your relationships that you don't think about the nurturing that is needed to keep that relationship strong. It's like planting a garden; you work the soil, plant the seed, fertilize and water, prune and weed, and if you are diligent, you reap a wonderful harvest. If you only planted the seed and watered when it was convenient or when you remembered to, your harvest would be nothing to brag about, if you even had a harvest.

Our Adventure has taught us to make each other and our family our number one priority. No matter what. I used to think our marriage was great and couldn't really imagine it being any better. Our Adventure has only improved our relationship because of the adjustments we needed to make. Again, another blessing.

Hope your priorities are balanced. If not.....do something about it! Life is too short to waste another minute!



- Posted by Gena Bertelsen using BlogPress from my iPad

The SWARM

Day 73 of Our Adventure.
Can you believe it has been over 9 weeks since it all began?
I was thinking about that a lot this morning. Some of it still seems very surreal. The rest of it is a reminder that it is VERY real. It's all good, in the big picture of life.
Both Kirk and Bryn have been sick this week and they were kind enough to share their good fortune with me:( They both missed several days of life/work and both seem on the mend. Being an overachiever, I intend to make short work of the gift and be 100% tomorrow...wish me luck.
Kirk was invited to a SWARM on Saturday and, wanting to spend some more time with him, I invited myself to go too. I had to ask him what a SWARM was, I am pretty sure you might be wondering too. A SWARM is kind of like a remote control mini-convention for those who fly RC Planes. They all stand on the pre-determined "flight line" and release their planes at the same time. It sounds like a swarm of bees and is actually pretty darn cool to see. Here is the video footage I took of it:

One of my favorite parts of the SWARM were the two little commentators on the lawn in front of me. I have no idea who they are but, dang it was fun listening to their views on the event.
A couple of The Brethren, current and retired, were there making planes, flying them and having all manner of fun as they attempted to take the planes with the streamers out of the air.

















A big shout out to Ralph Derico, Jake Ervin and Dan Holdaway. It is always great to see you boys. I did ask Kirk why Cheryl and Kim weren't there and he said, "This is kind of a guy thing." Whoops;) Maybe next time.
Over the last few weeks, almost everywhere we go, someone we run into mentions the blog, that they read it, enjoy it and share it. How beautiful is that!? Thank you. We are humbled and inspired and hope that you find something of value in Our Adventure that can help make your life better.
I love this picture of Kirk at the SWARM. Yes, he does have his brace on under the sweatshirt.....otherwise he would look even skinnier! I keep trying to fatten him up without success.




I don't know that we could say this enough........THANK YOU. We are so grateful for the wonderful, genuine friendships we have come to count on in our lives. Your thoughts and prayers, positiveness, service, example and love have held us up through some of the most difficult times we have know. There truly is strength in numbers, especially when it is focused on good.
Love to you all!
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The Forgetting

Day 66.
A very low-key Sabbath day for us.

Kirk and I went for a walk today, around the pond, like we used to do daily. This is the first time I have been up there since Our Adventure began. It was beautiful to see the reflection of Maple Mountain and the changing leaves in the pond.

Everything was so peaceful and calming. Exactly what we needed.

I have been very reflective the last few weeks about Our Adventure and lessons that we have learned throughout the last few months. I am sure the lessons will continue, maybe not as vividly as some have been, but they will be there. I'm not worried about that.

My concern is the forgetting.

I was visiting with a darling friend, Raylene Long, the other day about the forgetting. We have several great connections, our husbands both work for Orem City, are both Police Officers and both love to ride motorcycles. We have both gone through life altering experiences where our husbands were injured and have recovered. Let me tell you a little bit more about Raylene's husband, Jeff Long.







While serving our country in the Middle East, a suicide bomber detonated a van full of explosives in very close proximity to Jeff and his team. They were driving a HumVee, Jeff was on top as "the Gunner". When the van exploded, Jeff was engulfed in flames and fell inside the HumVee. The fire suppression system was able to put the fire out but not before Jeff suffered severe burns to his face and body.

Jeff spent several months in military hospitals recovering from the burns, some of the time without his family by his side. There are still scars, emotional and physical, from his experience, and probably always will be. Jeff is another Hero in my life.

I asked Raylene how they kept the things they learned during that time, including the very miracle of him being alive, at the forefront of their mind. She told me that she had mentioned to Jeff, just a few days prior, that the scar on his face was fading. This was a very visible reminder to them of the miracle they had been given. With it fading, would the memories fade also?

Don't misunderstand me, there are some things I would be fine forgetting. But there are some vitally important lessons here that we obviously would not have been able to learn without Our Adventure. So how do you remember these things when life resumes it's normal pace, other stresses take over and you aren't "focused" on the Adventure?


For us, part of the gratitude includes putting the lessons we have learned into action in our lives. We are more mindful of others who are in difficult situations, who need our prayers and service and we act. We cherish our time together, with our family, friends and each other, in ways we didn't understand before. We take more opportunities to tell those around us how much we appreciate and love them. Kirk made the comment one day, "I have really worried my parents. They tell me they love me every time they talk to me." It wasn't that they didn't say this to him in many ways, it was just a lot more often!

So, here we are. Kirk's back is healing. He is back to work, even though it is light-duty, full duty is just around the corner. The pains have lessened. Sleep is improving. And soon, we hope, he will be able to sleep in our bed instead of the hospital bed. We know that Heavenly Father has given us a multitude of blessings. We just don't want to forget them.

This, I am sure, is another lesson we need to learn.

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He's Back!!

He did it! He even made it the whole day! Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers throughout Our Adventure. We absolutely could not have gotten to this point without you.

Thank you City of Orem Police, Fire, Paramedics, Dispatchers, Office Staff. You have made the rough road smoother.

Thank you to all of our sweet family, friends and neighbors. It would be impossible to name everyone as we have been so blessed by so many.

Our biggest THANK YOU to our Father in Heaven who truly knows what we need and when we need it.

How blessed are we?

How blessed are we all?

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How Firm a Foundation

48 days since Our Adventure began.

We were able to go to sacrament meeting today and it was wonderful to see our ward family, in person, and be uplifted with music and their testimonies.



Because I Have Been Given Much was the first hymn of the meeting. After the earthquakes in Haiti, Kirk was able to serve the amazing people there with the Utah Hospital Task Force for 3 weeks. This hymn was one the group sang on the flight to Haiti. As soon as I realized what hymn we were singing, I looked at Kirk, knowing that it holds so much meaning for him. I opened the hymn book and Kirk, very emotionally, said, "I can't sing it." Only a moment passed before I heard him say, "Yes I can."

"Yes I Can" seems to represent Our Adventure perfectly.

At the end of the meeting was another powerful hymn, How Firm A Foundation. I found myself recognizing the last 48 days in the words of the hymn especially, very literally, the third line of the third verse.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

How grateful we are for the small and simple things that bless us each day. I hope you take the time to recognize the lessons that are so freely given. Our Adventure has made us much more aware of these things that used to pass us by.

Love to you all!

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Are You Prepared?

35 days since the beginning of our Adventure. Each day, each hour, each minute, is one more gift we have been given. Some of those gifts are wrapped up beautifully with nice big bows. Some have been disguised as difficulties and pain. Nevertheless, they are all gifts.

After our fun-filled, fast-paced day yesterday we were both physically and mentally exhausted today. So glad it was Sunday, a much slower-paced day.





Jim and Danielle stopped by yesterday after running the Hobble Creek Half Marathon. I love this picture of them, full of energy, vitality, happiness. The perfect description of them. Kirk asked Jim what it was like to run the half marathon and his response was powerful, "It's like everything in life. If you are prepared, it's great. If not, it sucks." Jim and Danielle have been preparing for this run for several months and it seems to have paid off.

This is the second time in as many days that being prepared has been discussed. I had a late lunch with Cheryl on Friday and we talked about her efforts of updating her Emergency 72 hour kit. She is doing everything she can to be prepared in the event of an emergency. That's Cheryl on the left, me on the right. We have had many discussions about being prepared over the last almost 20 years of friendship.



Kirk and I have always been into "preparedness" whether it is food storage, camping equipment, road trips. It is one of those things that I could talk about, think about and plan out for hours. Typing this post has made me dissect my passion of being prepared. Bottom line....it is a control issue. I am starting to feel like this is Control Freaks Anonymous....and, in case you were wondering...I am the president.

One thing we were never prepared for is our Adventure. We were not prepared for the outpouring of love, support, prayers and service of our family, friends and neighbors. We could have never imagined being prepared for the mental and physical toll this could take on each of us. How do you prepare for these things?

We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and in a book of scripture known as The Doctrine and Covenants is a verse that says, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." (D&C 38:30). I have hung on to this verse as a guiding light in my life. When something worried me, I would figure out what I needed to do to be prepared and do it. This works for many of life's trials and experiences. Just like Jim said, "If you are prepared, it's great. If not, it sucks."

We may not have prepared specifically for the Adventure but we see that the steps we have made, for what we thought were other reasons, have blessed us. We have been blessed by the preparations and actions of so many others that, when added to our efforts, the picture becomes much clearer, much more doable, much more beautiful.

As we thank our Father in Heaven each day in the last 35 for the blessings we have been given, we always start by thanking Him for our Adventure. We have learned so much about ourselves, each other, our family, friends and neighbors that we would not have had the opportunity to learn in any other way.

We have learned that we did something right in our parenting efforts by seeing the way our kids have supported us through their service and love. That alone makes the Adventure worth it! Who would have thought that teaching your kids to serve others would have been part of the preparation for an Adventure such as ours?

We have learned that we still have a lot to learn and a lot to prepare for. I guess if you are not preparing for something, you might not actually be living. And, everything you do is a preparation for something in your life. Be prepared and it will be great!!!

Love you all!



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Gifts

Kirk said that last night was the best night he has had since our Adventure began 34 days ago. He only woke up a couple of times, one time was my fault, he had heard the bathroom door close and said, "Hey, what are you doing?" I went into his room and we had a nice little visit. It is interesting how deep our conversations can get in such a short time. This was something we needed, to become even closer, and it is a gift we have been given with our Adventure.


One of our blog friends recommended some movies for our family to watch together, one of them was called The Ultimate Gift. Dad had brought up a bag of what he called "babysitting tools" (movies) to occupy his time with Kirk. One of the movies happened to be The Ultimate Gift and Kirk and I watched it together one quiet evening. We both loved it....the message of the movie is one that we could all learn from, the true gifts in life that we often take for granted.

Being inspired by the movie, we would like to share some of the gifts we have received from our Adventure with you. They are in no particular order, each bearing the same value in our eyes.

We believe that having each other is a gift. Being married to a Police Officer that is an adrenaline junkie, motorcycle riding, gun shooting, fast paced guy can naturally make a spouse, like me, keep a nightmarish ending in the back of her mind. Kirk used to tell me, "If I die in a motorcycle crash, know that I went smiling." While this is a very serious statement for Kirk, it's not really a lot to hang on to for me, especially with the all too recent Adventure still fresh on my mind.

Our Family and Friends have been an immeasurable gift. The love, support, service and prayers on our behalf is more than we could have ever asked for or imagined. Asking for help is one of the most difficult things in life, but being served in such a loving way has humbled us. We more fully understand Charity as the pure love of Jesus Christ because of what we have experienced through the Adventure.

Kirk has been in a hospital bed in the spare bedroom for the last three weeks. As visitors have come and gone, all passing by the foot of his bed, many have given his feet a little squeeze as they leave the room. Being able to feel someone squeeze his feet has been such a gift for Kirk. I am not sure how he would have felt about that prior to the Adventure but, he counts it as a gift now.

Being able to share our feelings, experiences and thoughts through the blog has been a gift. It is therapeutic and even calming for me. It is like writing in a journal, documenting events that dominate our life...change our life....and hoping that writing it down will help us remember how it felt in the moment. That is definitely part of learning...remembering.

Remote controls are a gift. In the first week home our cousin/brother, Jim Carly, came over and installed a remote control on the ceiling fan for Kirk. He uses this remote more than the TV remote, needing to change the temperature many times each day or even turn the light on and off. We wouldn't have even thought of needing this before our journey began.

Living in a time where modern medicine is so advanced is a gift. Kirk and I have talked a few times about what would happen to a person who lived a hundred years ago and broke his back. Imagine a farmer, whose whole existence is spent in the field to support his wife and family. He breaks his back and as family members try to get him back to the house he becomes paralyzed, unable to move at all. He is in excruciating pain without any type of medication or therapy that will relieve his distress. How blessed are we to have skilled, knowledgable doctors, surgeons and medical staff that can determine what is wrong and make every effort to correct the problem as well as keep the patient in as little pain as possible through medication. What a gift we have be given.

These are just a few of our gifts. We hope that it inspires you to think about your life, examine the very minuet details of your abilities, resources and your loved ones. Have you overlooked the importance of the little things, and even the big things? What are we doing with our gifts? Don't wait for your own Adventure before you realize how blessed you are.

That too, is a gift.



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Shadows

Day 30. Wow! Can you believe it? I sometimes still have to pinch myself to make sure it's real.

Kirk got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card today (he calls being stuck in bed Jail) and was able to take a drive to Northwest Orthotics to have his turtle shell resized. He has lost so much weight that it is not supporting him like it should. I called this morning thinking they would just come to the house in the next few days but they wanted him to come in today!








We have been working with Russ since the night of the accident and he has been wonderful to continue altering the shell so that it fits Kirk perfectly. Thank you, Thank you Russ!












The entire outing took almost an hour and a half and Kirk seemed pretty happy about getting back to his "cell". I even left him alone for a couple of hours (gasp!!) and he lived through it! Good thing that Bryn stopped in to check on him and I am sure she rescued him from certain death.


While Kirk and I were driving back from Provo we were next to a pest control truck that had a picture of a large spider with an even larger shadow. The thought crossed my mind and quickly came out my mouth, "I think the reason people are afraid of spiders is because their shadows are  so big." Kirk chuckled and politely agreed.




As I have continued bustling about today I kept thinking about that spider shadow. Shadows are scary! Think of the most terrifying movie you have seen. Right before the scariest part you hear the heart pumping music, there is major darkness and then......a shadow. I read once that FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. That is a shadow!
Our Adventure has had some shadows. Little shadows. Big shadows. The biggest one is the shadow of the future. We have made so many plans, just like you have, but we really don't know what our future will bring until a little more light appears on the scene. We know this will just take time. That doesn't make it any less scary, but we can handle it. Something about an Adventure.......it is full of excitement!!
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The Other Side

How many times have you heard the scripture from Matthew 25:30 that states, "Verily I say unto you, that inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."? In the last 18 days I believe I have a much better understanding of the love our Savior has for us and how important it is for us to share that love through our service to others.

In responding to an email from the Relief Society President, Karen Murray, tonight this scripture kept coming to the forefront of my mind. She was asking how things were going and letting me know of meals she had scheduled for us and if there was anything else we needed.

Yes, there is one thing we still need....a way to thank everyone for the blessings they have brought to our family through their service.

Through our amazing Mapleton 21st Ward family, our immediate and extended family, our friends and co-workers/brethren/employers (Orem City Fire and Police, Freedom Home Health and Hospice), we have been the recipients of delicious meals, desserts, snacks, walking buddies, companionship, cleaning, visiting, medical equipment, phone calls, emails of encouragement and most importantly, prayers on our behalf.

When Kirk first came home I was confident I could handle everything. Karen and her husband Brian were one of our first visitors and she asked if the ward could provide meals. I was going to tell her we would be fine but she quickly insisted that I let the sisters have the opportunity to serve. I can tell you from personal experience that I ALWAYS receive more blessings when serving someone. I never imagined the blessings on the other side of that service.

Kirk and I were talking about what we are learning through our adventure and one of the first things he said was, "I am not going to avoid going to visit someone who has had surgery or an injury anymore. I always thought I would be bothering them." I can't tell you how many times I have thought the same thing. Being on the other side of this situation has helped us understand how important this can be for the healing person and their family.

I want to challenge everyone reading this to think about their family, friends and neighbors. Have any of them been ill, had surgery, been homebound for one reason or another? I want you to call them, stop by, send a card or take something to them in the next 24 hours. One person. One act of service. See how it changes YOUR life. Then we would like to have a little R&R, Return and Report. Let us know in your blog comments how this made you feel. Tell us how you feel to be on the giving side of service. When you are on the other side (the receiving end) you will have a better understanding of how important it is to let someone be on the giving side.

It is always so much easier to give than to receive but don't ever cheat someone out of their blessings when it is your turn to receive. It sounds so simple....and it really is. Try it!



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We Owe You

16 days into the adventure and we continue to have so much support through visits, messages, phone calls, food and service. As we sit together each night and talk about the events of the day, our conversation always turns to our gratitude to each and every person who has taken time out of their lives to help in some way. The same question keeps coming up..... how do we ever thank everyone?

One of the first times this question was vocalized was in the hospital the day after Kirk's surgery. Dr. Gardner had stopped in to check on Kirk, delighted us with his humor and humbled us with his knowledge and skill. He left the room and Kirk said, "How do we ever thank him?"

This amazing man has given Kirk mobility, hope and a quality of life that exceeds our expectations every day. He has given me my sweetheart for whatever amount of time Heavenly Father deems is "enough". He has given Dani and Bryn "Daddy Daughter Dates" and opportunities to share their lives and love with him. He has given favorite son-in-law, Steven, inspiration to search out and find a new hobby they can share together. He has given his parents more time to see their "baby" continue to grow, be successful and meet challenges head on.

During our daily reflections Kirk said, "People go to medical school every day with the goal of having that one experience that makes a difference. That one surgery that changes someone's life. I was that one." He was...and is...that miracle. That is the way we see it. Dr. Gardner seems to humbly take it in stride, stating that someone "was looking out for Kirk".

Dr. Gardner is just one of the many we owe a debt of gratitude to. I am afraid to start naming every individual that we love and appreciate for fear that I would miss someone....my thoughts are still running 90 miles a minute....and there are SOOOO many.

Kirk has a great saying that always makes me giggle.... "I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it." We are going to owe a LOT of people. And we plan on working that debt off for the rest of our lives.
Love to you all!



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BEST Day EVER!

In celebration of the two week mark...day 14...Kirk walked 14 blocks!!

When I asked Kirk what he wanted to say on the blog today he said, "This has been the best day EVER!" You can see those words in his face, actions and of course, his attitude.


Our Physical Therapist came again today and told Kirk he can see continued improvement in him each time. That alone has got to make a guy feel great!!


Dad and Dave (nephew) installed a shower bar yesterday and I cannot tell you how much of a difference that made for BOTH of us! I must admit that our first home shower experience is now referred to as "The Shower Incident".

I thought I was completely prepared to assist Kirk in the shower. I had a shower chair in the tub, his shower gel, scrubby (like a loofa only much more manly), a towel to dry off with and clothes to get into afterwards.

The first sign of a problem came as he sat down on the shower chair. I had not considered that it was on the lowest setting possible and was so low that Kirk immediately said, "Oh crap...this is low!" I tried to reassure him that everything was okay and, since we only have a 20 minute time frame for him to be sitting and/or standing, we should get him washed up and I would be able to assist him out of the shower.

By the time we finished with the shower Kirk was uncontrollably shivering(He generally keeps it so cold in our house that you could hang a side of beef!) I grabbed another towel and tried to get him covered and dry. He tried to stand up but did not have the strength. He said, "This is not good." As a police Officer/Firefighter/Paramedic, Kirk has had the opportunity of rescuing many citizens who, for one reason or another, are stuck somewhere in the bathroom, usually without clothing. I can't imagine that his mind did not consider himself on the other side of the rescue.

I immediately thought of the Caregiver Support Groups and classes that I have instructed and went into action. I placed one foot in the tub, between his legs, one outside of the tub, squatted lower and had him use me as his support to stand. He calls it a "Fireman Lift" I call it miraculous! We got him out, dressed and back into bed. It was so hard to get his body to calm back down and to get his pain under control but he kept saying, "I'm so glad I can feel my legs. I'm so glad I can feel my legs," I love how he can put life into perspective so quickly.

He slept so good. I would like to say my preparations helped but I'm afraid it was my lack of preparations:/ Either way....we worked through it together and all is well. That's the way you get through anything...together. I am so glad we are on this adventure together.....it would be so lonely without him.

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Count Your Blessings...Name Them One By One

13 Blessings on the 13th Day ( In no particular order).
1- Kirk can feel his legs. Even though they hurt, he can feel them.
2- Kirk's Physical Therapist noted that Kirk's strength has greatly improved since Tuesday.
3- Bryn not only hung out for a while today but was also able to pick up the new prescription so I could go to work on time.
4- Kirk can move his feet.
5- Pete Robinson did not bring any alternative weapons to play today.
6- Dani got to hang out, watch a movie and visit for the afternoon.
7- Kirk has had 3 days in a row to hang out with Dad.
8- Jake Ervin brought Thai Drift Thursday Lunch special of Masaman.
9- Chris and Roger Pyne brought such an amazing dinner!
10- Keith Harrison, a long-time fire brother, came to visit and walk.
11- Nancy Athay and D'Anne Blackburn formed the first ever 21st Ward Cheering Squad as Kirk made his way down the street. No stunts were involved but we are looking forward to tomorrow!
12- A special delivery of chocolate chip cookies on a highly prized "bird plate" was hand baked and delivered by Jim and Danielle Carly.
13- Rick, Lori and Cole came by and also enjoyed the blessings of our wonderful dinner.
14- Old neighbors (Dave and Katrina Harlan, Tom Nielsen, John Dickinson) and new neighbors (Kyle Mang) took time out of their day to stop in and brighten our day.
Yes, that was 14. It is quite possible that we could continue counting our blessings but then you would probably keep reading ours instead of counting your own:)
Love to you all!
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One Step Forward.....

Here we are....day 12.

This is the first day Kirk was home without me. I'm thinking I am the one who suffered today. I can't tell you how hard it was to walk out the door this morning. I choked back the emotion, put on a smiley face and kissed him goodbye.

Kirk did so much physically yesterday that he paid for it today. In fact, for the last 10 days he has pushed the limits of his pain trying to be better, faster, stronger. (Remember the Six Million Dollar Man TV drama in the 80's? What would all of those upgrades cost now?) My mind keeps comparing his drive to get well faster to my drive (and most likely yours, too!) to do more, be more, accomplish more. In my unrelenting efforts of "more" am I really getting less? Less family time. Less spiritual time. Less time to really be better.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, said: "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." I am certain the phrase "instant gratification" had not even been uttered back then. What a great message.....slow down, everything will work out. A dear friend, Kevin McCarthy, wrote me the other day and said something very powerful.... "There are two things that are certain. 1- Heavenly Father has a plan. 2- We are all in it. Put these two thoughts together and we continue to learn and grow, and get better, faster, stronger;)

Pete Robinson hung out with Kirk from nine to noon and was kind enough to hang the white board on the bedroom door so communication for all of us is better. He also entertained Kirk, and insured a higher place of stature with the dogs, with his marshmallow guns. I am not sure I will allow Pete to hang out with Kirk again without a list of acceptable activities:)

One of Kirk's best friends is his dad. Every set of days off that Kirk has includes a day(or more) hanging out with his dad, taking care of projects, yard work or just visiting. One of the greatest blessings in our adventure is that the two of them get to hang out a bit more. Dad is always watching out for each of his kids, grand kids and even great-grandkids! He is, and always has been, a wonderful example to us. I used to pray that Kirk would turn out just like his dad...and he has...always helping out someone.


Dani, our oldest daughter, stopped in around three and watched Second Hand Lions with her dad. This is one of my favorite pictures of the two of them on Dani's wedding day. She has had a bond with dad since birth. How blessed are we to have such close relationships with our girls. I honestly don't know what we would do without them.

It was wonderful to come home to the best homemade Mac and cheese EVER! Thanks so much my sweet Darci Marie, you have no idea how much that helped.

One step forward....just one at a time.



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Deliriously Exhausted

I start this post with heavy eyelids and a light heart.
He is home. Kirk arrived in the ambulance, with his Fire Brethren at his side, to the delight of this weary woman. Now, how many people can say the ambulance took them home instead of to the hospital?

It is the tenth day since our adventure began. I haven't posted anything in the last two days. I have written my thoughts, just not sure if I can share them yet. In time.

Dr. Gardner was in Kirk's room shortly after 7 this morning. Beautiful smile on his face asking Kirk if he was ready to go home. How grateful we are for his knowledge, skill, sense of humor and compassion. Our vantage point could have been so different without him. When he left the room you could see him shake his head and he said, "You are one lucky guy."

True that!;)

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Fear VS. Faith

   Day six was Fabulous with a capitol F! I got to stay with Kirk the whole day at the hospital.  Even to sit there while he tried to sleep made ME feel so much better!  They started the morning removing the epidural from his back...super cool to watch and I totally have pictures if anyone wants to see them;)  I also took pictures of the staples holding the surgical wound together in his back...also super cool.

   When they got Kirk up to walk we had to place an extra gown around the back for "complete coverage" I looked at him and thought, "Just what a superhero needs....a cape."

   The girls were helping with various family events so we didn't see them until later in the afternoon. It was wonderful when Dani, Steven and Bryn walked in.  The feelings of the importance of having an eternal family makes my heart swell each time I see them caring for their dad and just standing by his side.  I know we will be together for eternity and that alone seems to be enough.

  Can I just talk about his Fire and Police Brothers.  We call them "The Brethren".  I'm not even sure of the words. .....mostly....I don't know how to spell the love that they give to him and to our family.  I'm sitting here blubbering, in happiness, about how blessed we are.
 
   Two of the Brethren came by yesterday morning and served my sweetheart by shaving his scruffiness off.  They were gently and compassionate and thoughtful.  These are TRUE MEN.  They serve willingly and happily.  I am pretty sure they didn't sit around the breakfast table at the fire station and say, "Please don't make us go see Bert again!"  They have been aching to see him and he was so ready to see them yesterday.  Russ Sneddon and  Ryan Peterson shaved Kirk, helped him brush his teeth and then walked with him.  Again, no words to describe my feelings....I'm going to have to get a thesaurus.

 Nursing staff were able to remove the catheter and the arterial line in his neck.  Oxygen was removed in the afternoon but was replaced about 10 last night.  Not sure yet if it is still on this morning. 

   I have been thinking about the future, specifically, how do we do this at home? I must admit I felt some really stressful moments.  I was going to sleep at the hospital with Kirk last night, just having a hard time being away from him right now.  We were laying in the dark, him on the hospital bed, me on the most uncomfortable recliner ever made, probably both thinking about the same things.  I whispered, "Are you awake?" He said yes.  "Did you know", I continued to whisper, "That faith and fear cannot go together?"  "I have heard that said before." he whispered back.

I have had a lot of fear in the last week...wow! It has been a week! Being the control freak that I am, I keep a firm grip on that fear.  I think I'm even afraid to let the fear go! Now, how crazy is that? Wait...let's not go into the crazy discussion;)  I know I have faith and I know Kirk has faith.  Why does fear seem easier to hold onto?  It's like I am hauling it around in my purse, in my pockets, even in my mind.  Well....I decided last night that I am giving it away...Free Fear!!  Bucket, Bushel, Truckload!  You can have it but I wouldn't recommend it.  I am going to get a new purse and it is going to be filled with faith.  And it will be fabulously cute too;)
Love to you all!

Hardware and Software

   Day 5 started out with a bang!  Kirk was moved from ICU to room 486.  Yes, it was at 3 AM but the doctor had decided of all of the ICU patients he was the one doing the best!!! You've got to take great news every time you can!!

   I told Kirk it's almost like we have moved from the Hilton to Motel 6.  ICU rooms were BIG. Our room is much smaller but that is good as visitors don't stay quite as long and Kirk gets a bit more rest.  I hope you all took that in the most positive way possible;)

   Angela, Dr. Gardner's Nurse Practitioner, came by to see us in the morning. Wow!  She is so knowledgeable and just as fun and friendly as Dr. Gardner.  She was even able to show us x-rays of the hardware they have installed in "Superfly" Bertelsen. It is absolutely amazing what these doctor's can do.

   They have stopped the pain meds going into Kirk's epidural which has increased his pain quite a bit.  He spent most of the day at a 6 or 7 but that did not stop him from walking with the therapists.  He made 3 laps around the nurses station and they were about to take him to his room when the therapist mentioned that 3 laps on this floor was equal to 2 laps in ICU.  Kirk made them do one more lap.  Well paint me surprised!

   Tomorrow is going to be a BIG day.  The plan is to actually remove the epidural and possibly the catheter.  The chest tube may come out also if his fluid output is acceptable.  The doctor told us it would be a rough couple of days but also said he will feel so much better after the chest tube is out.

   The girls continue to be at Kirk's side most of the day.  What a blessing.  They attend to his needs, feeding him, making sure he has everything right at hand.  We have only had immediate family visitors today and Kirk has been able to get more rest.  It was so good to see our nephew Jake, who will be getting married on Saturday!! We are so excited for him and sad not to be right in the middle of things with them.  My brother Kevin also came by and that did our hearts so good.  He always so fun to visit with.  Kenny, our oldest nephew was the last visitor of the day.  For those of you that know him, yes....he was rockin' his high pony.  For those of you that don't know him.....we have encouraged a haircut to which he said "It's here to stay and I am going to go test it out on one of the nurses."  He makes us laugh so much!  These heartfelt and emotional visits have softened the blows of the last few days and we feel so blessed.

   Kenny was very reflective with Kirk.  He was on the ride with Kirk and Steven when this happened and we worry that BOTH of them feel like this is their fault.  Let me assure everyone...this was meant to happen.  Whether they were riding motorcycles or walking down the street, we are meant to be on this adventure.  We are meant to slow things down and be more grateful for the things we have been blessed with. We are meant to appreciate the small and simple things in each moment.  Life has been going to fast, too furious....like a REALLY bad movie;)

   If you haven't ever read the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, I highly suggest it.  In fact, it is your reading assignment for this weekend. (There is a movie for you slow readers) It is a super fast read and you should be able to get through it.  Bertelsen fam...you are excused from this assignment for the weekend ONLY because of the wedding.  After reading this you will come to understand that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! We may not know it today or ever in this earth life, but at some point in our existence, we will know the whys.

   I have been trying to send this pics of the hardware to the blog but I am having a tough time.  Keep checking back ...I'll get them here somehow.

   How do we ever thank all of you for your love, messages, prayers and support.  We will truly be indebted to you forever.  Love to you all!

Feeling The Love and Making Laps....

   It is the third day since our adventure began. It is two days since surgery. We continue to be amazed, inspired and so blessed. We are sitting here together, me, Kirk and the girls, and our conversation is alive with feelings of gratitude for our blessings and friends.

Mitch, therapist, Kevin Kemp, amazing Friend/Fire Brother/Life Flight Paramedic, Kirk "Superfly" Bertelsen, Mitch, Therapist.,

   Kirk has had a great day today. After he was fitted for his support brace and walked ten steps outside of his room yesterday, we all had great expectations for today. Kirk, on the other hand, was the one in pain and totally exhausted from yesterday's excursion. When Adam, the trauma room PA, stopped in to check on Kirk this morning, Kirk asked if he could request to not get up and walk again until his chest tube was removed. Adam said, "You can request that all you want but you WILL be getting up today." I don't know that I have ever heard Kirk be so compliant as when he said, "Okay."
   Kirk continues to impress everyone caring for him as well as those who love him so much. Today he made three laps around the nurses desk with his therapists. He ate well today and spent the evening having his nurse rotate him from side to side for 20 minutes each time trying to drain the fluid from his lungs in an effort to prevent pneumonia. She is so diligent with him and we are so grateful.
   I was speaking with a very dear friend today, Tim Anderson, a physical therapist who found himself in a similar situation about three years ago when he crashed his four wheeler. His body sustained a lot of damage and Tim spent months healing and learning basic things such as how to walk again. Oh, how we take these things for granted. I told Tim we could feel the prayers of all of our friends. He said he never understood that phrase until he experienced prayers from his family and friends through his Journey of healing. Your prayers have have sustained us. They have brought peace in a very unsettling situation. I'm a little bit of a control freak and this adventure does not make allowances for personality flaws such as mine. Feeling the prayers has helped me keep my hands inside until the ride comes to a complete stop. I've turned the steering over to those who know the way. Such a hard thing to do.
   I've been reading your comments to Kirk every night. We have laughed at some of our incredibly clever friends and held on tight to the well wishes. Kirk asked me to make sure that tonight's post thanked all of you. So...THANK YOU a million times! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the phone calls, texts and comments on the blog and the Facebook updates. Thank you for the visits and even for being okay with not visiting so he can get enough rest to push himself during therapy. You have no idea how grateful we are.
    Kirk and I talked about how much we love Dr. Gardner. He is fun to visit with when he stops in but most of all, the man knows what he is doing. We have no idea how we got so blessed to have him as our surgeon. Kirk said, "I know he gets paid a lot but how do we ever repay him." The only answer I could come up with is that we are now indebted to him. We are okay with this.
   We went  one step further....Heavenly Father has given us so much, so much that we take for granted. Walking, eating unassisted, being able to move your body to make it comfortable without fear, even being able to go to work each day. All of these blessing that we are so freely given. How do we pay him back?
    I am certain our adventure will have its ups and downs, highs and lows and everything in between. I am so glad to have you along for the ride.