Swagger, Soda and Sis

   19 days since the accident and life at home seems to have found it's groove. We've changed up the ever-changing routine, again, trying to find the happy medium of comfort and pain control by starting the day with a walk.  It was early but we all had a smile on our face, even the dogs.  Kirk is hoping that a wake-up walk will help his muscles stretch back out after a night in bed.  I am hopeful with him. And we will see what tomorrow brings.

   Kirk's favorite, and extremely young, sister Peg came by today bearing a soda and a smile.  Bryn and Dani both got some "Dad Time" today too.  I know it helps his day go by so much faster when someone is there with him.

He is absolutely "desausted" as our niece Haillie would say. He walked a few times tonight stepping up the speed and not looking back. He is facing forward on his recovery and his focus is to get up, get stronger, get well and get back to work.

I read Kirk some of the wonderful comments you have left here, on Facebook and in my email and he is so surprised that he has inspired anyone. "Why would anyone be inspired by a guy who did something dumb and has to work at getting better? Doesn't everyone who gets hurt just want to get better as fast as they can?". Actually, I don't think that is always the case. I think Kirk is an amazing exception.

Bryn and I walked with him this evening. I took the camera along, just incase something would inspire my thoughts tonight. I was walking behind him and noticed the guy has some swagger with that turtle vest on! It's a good thing he had other clothing on or we may have lost him in the camo. He was even able to climb the three steps to he door with no assistance. It is all progress and we will take it bit by bit, piece by piece until the beautiful picture is all put back together.

Patience Grasshopper.....

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Going For Gold

Kirk and I are sitting here with Bryn and Steven,watching the Women's Gymnastics competition. I must tell you that Steven was the most excited of all of us to watch this...he is fabulous at all sports (except women's gymnastics;) and loves to watch sporting events.

The competitors are absolutely amazing! They are so strong, disciplined, focused and talented.
Bryn

We just watched a girl from Russia on the uneven bars and as she circled around the top bar, using only her hands, Bryn announced that she was able to do this when she was in gymnastics (ages 6-8). Steven, with some doubt in his voice, questioned the validity of Bryn's statement to which she fervently responded, "I got a participation ribbon!" She then giggled and said that the ribbon meant that she wasn't really very good at it. She isn't exactly correct. She was good, naturally good, but her heart was not in it. And that's okay....when you are as talented as she is, at so many things, you have to pick and choose which hobbies will be a priority in your life.

It is the same scenario for adults. We find things we are interested in, spend our time, effort and resources and make it a priority in our life. Sometimes we get a participation ribbon. Sometimes we get the gold.



Riding motorcycles is where Kirk's heart is at. It is the culmination of adrenaline, skill and adventure. It is challenging both physically and mentally. It is has been a hobby of his for more than 30 years. It has changed his life, in more ways than one.


It is no surprise that the continuation of riding motorcycles has been a topic of conversation in our family. In the first few days after the adventure began Kirk told Steven and his nephews, "Don't sell your bikes. We're going to be back on those in no time." On day six he was rethinking things. Six days laying in bed with crazy amounts of pain can do that to a person who is so used to go-go-going.

Day 17 and the topic has been brought up again. Should he sell the bike, or both bikes? What would the consequences be if there was another crash? Riding has brought so much joy to his life and the answers will surely take some time. Kirk says, "The decision has already been made in my mind, it is just getting my heart to go along with it."

We had our first "outing" today in Kirk's beloved Rover. He was delighted to get out, even if it was to a doctor's appointment. About ten minutes into the ride he looked at me and said, "Riding in a car is not as much fun as I thought it would be." I can't imagine that reclining in the passenger seat with a back brace on and traveling on a not-so-smooth road would be enticing for many.

Dr. Karl Francis was our "approach surgeon" meaning he opened Kirk up and got everything out of the way for Dr. Paul Gardner to be able to work on Kirk's spine. Our appointment today was just to check his surgery site and make sure there was no problem or infection. We were able to get in quickly and Dr. Francis was there before Kirk could even lay down. Everything looked great!

Our "fun" outing exhausted Kirk but he was so happy to have his friend Ralph bring him some lunch and hang out for the afternoon. What would we do without our family and friends?
They have truly carried us through each day with their love and support.

We retire tonight, full of gratitude and appreciation. Lots to think about and lots more to be thankful for. One thing I know for sure is that we won't settle for a participation ribbon when it comes to our future. We will definitely be going for the gold.







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BEST Day EVER!

In celebration of the two week mark...day 14...Kirk walked 14 blocks!!

When I asked Kirk what he wanted to say on the blog today he said, "This has been the best day EVER!" You can see those words in his face, actions and of course, his attitude.


Our Physical Therapist came again today and told Kirk he can see continued improvement in him each time. That alone has got to make a guy feel great!!


Dad and Dave (nephew) installed a shower bar yesterday and I cannot tell you how much of a difference that made for BOTH of us! I must admit that our first home shower experience is now referred to as "The Shower Incident".

I thought I was completely prepared to assist Kirk in the shower. I had a shower chair in the tub, his shower gel, scrubby (like a loofa only much more manly), a towel to dry off with and clothes to get into afterwards.

The first sign of a problem came as he sat down on the shower chair. I had not considered that it was on the lowest setting possible and was so low that Kirk immediately said, "Oh crap...this is low!" I tried to reassure him that everything was okay and, since we only have a 20 minute time frame for him to be sitting and/or standing, we should get him washed up and I would be able to assist him out of the shower.

By the time we finished with the shower Kirk was uncontrollably shivering(He generally keeps it so cold in our house that you could hang a side of beef!) I grabbed another towel and tried to get him covered and dry. He tried to stand up but did not have the strength. He said, "This is not good." As a police Officer/Firefighter/Paramedic, Kirk has had the opportunity of rescuing many citizens who, for one reason or another, are stuck somewhere in the bathroom, usually without clothing. I can't imagine that his mind did not consider himself on the other side of the rescue.

I immediately thought of the Caregiver Support Groups and classes that I have instructed and went into action. I placed one foot in the tub, between his legs, one outside of the tub, squatted lower and had him use me as his support to stand. He calls it a "Fireman Lift" I call it miraculous! We got him out, dressed and back into bed. It was so hard to get his body to calm back down and to get his pain under control but he kept saying, "I'm so glad I can feel my legs. I'm so glad I can feel my legs," I love how he can put life into perspective so quickly.

He slept so good. I would like to say my preparations helped but I'm afraid it was my lack of preparations:/ Either way....we worked through it together and all is well. That's the way you get through anything...together. I am so glad we are on this adventure together.....it would be so lonely without him.

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Count Your Blessings...Name Them One By One

13 Blessings on the 13th Day ( In no particular order).
1- Kirk can feel his legs. Even though they hurt, he can feel them.
2- Kirk's Physical Therapist noted that Kirk's strength has greatly improved since Tuesday.
3- Bryn not only hung out for a while today but was also able to pick up the new prescription so I could go to work on time.
4- Kirk can move his feet.
5- Pete Robinson did not bring any alternative weapons to play today.
6- Dani got to hang out, watch a movie and visit for the afternoon.
7- Kirk has had 3 days in a row to hang out with Dad.
8- Jake Ervin brought Thai Drift Thursday Lunch special of Masaman.
9- Chris and Roger Pyne brought such an amazing dinner!
10- Keith Harrison, a long-time fire brother, came to visit and walk.
11- Nancy Athay and D'Anne Blackburn formed the first ever 21st Ward Cheering Squad as Kirk made his way down the street. No stunts were involved but we are looking forward to tomorrow!
12- A special delivery of chocolate chip cookies on a highly prized "bird plate" was hand baked and delivered by Jim and Danielle Carly.
13- Rick, Lori and Cole came by and also enjoyed the blessings of our wonderful dinner.
14- Old neighbors (Dave and Katrina Harlan, Tom Nielsen, John Dickinson) and new neighbors (Kyle Mang) took time out of their day to stop in and brighten our day.
Yes, that was 14. It is quite possible that we could continue counting our blessings but then you would probably keep reading ours instead of counting your own:)
Love to you all!
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One Step Forward.....

Here we are....day 12.

This is the first day Kirk was home without me. I'm thinking I am the one who suffered today. I can't tell you how hard it was to walk out the door this morning. I choked back the emotion, put on a smiley face and kissed him goodbye.

Kirk did so much physically yesterday that he paid for it today. In fact, for the last 10 days he has pushed the limits of his pain trying to be better, faster, stronger. (Remember the Six Million Dollar Man TV drama in the 80's? What would all of those upgrades cost now?) My mind keeps comparing his drive to get well faster to my drive (and most likely yours, too!) to do more, be more, accomplish more. In my unrelenting efforts of "more" am I really getting less? Less family time. Less spiritual time. Less time to really be better.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, said: "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." I am certain the phrase "instant gratification" had not even been uttered back then. What a great message.....slow down, everything will work out. A dear friend, Kevin McCarthy, wrote me the other day and said something very powerful.... "There are two things that are certain. 1- Heavenly Father has a plan. 2- We are all in it. Put these two thoughts together and we continue to learn and grow, and get better, faster, stronger;)

Pete Robinson hung out with Kirk from nine to noon and was kind enough to hang the white board on the bedroom door so communication for all of us is better. He also entertained Kirk, and insured a higher place of stature with the dogs, with his marshmallow guns. I am not sure I will allow Pete to hang out with Kirk again without a list of acceptable activities:)

One of Kirk's best friends is his dad. Every set of days off that Kirk has includes a day(or more) hanging out with his dad, taking care of projects, yard work or just visiting. One of the greatest blessings in our adventure is that the two of them get to hang out a bit more. Dad is always watching out for each of his kids, grand kids and even great-grandkids! He is, and always has been, a wonderful example to us. I used to pray that Kirk would turn out just like his dad...and he has...always helping out someone.


Dani, our oldest daughter, stopped in around three and watched Second Hand Lions with her dad. This is one of my favorite pictures of the two of them on Dani's wedding day. She has had a bond with dad since birth. How blessed are we to have such close relationships with our girls. I honestly don't know what we would do without them.

It was wonderful to come home to the best homemade Mac and cheese EVER! Thanks so much my sweet Darci Marie, you have no idea how much that helped.

One step forward....just one at a time.



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Fear VS. Faith

   Day six was Fabulous with a capitol F! I got to stay with Kirk the whole day at the hospital.  Even to sit there while he tried to sleep made ME feel so much better!  They started the morning removing the epidural from his back...super cool to watch and I totally have pictures if anyone wants to see them;)  I also took pictures of the staples holding the surgical wound together in his back...also super cool.

   When they got Kirk up to walk we had to place an extra gown around the back for "complete coverage" I looked at him and thought, "Just what a superhero needs....a cape."

   The girls were helping with various family events so we didn't see them until later in the afternoon. It was wonderful when Dani, Steven and Bryn walked in.  The feelings of the importance of having an eternal family makes my heart swell each time I see them caring for their dad and just standing by his side.  I know we will be together for eternity and that alone seems to be enough.

  Can I just talk about his Fire and Police Brothers.  We call them "The Brethren".  I'm not even sure of the words. .....mostly....I don't know how to spell the love that they give to him and to our family.  I'm sitting here blubbering, in happiness, about how blessed we are.
 
   Two of the Brethren came by yesterday morning and served my sweetheart by shaving his scruffiness off.  They were gently and compassionate and thoughtful.  These are TRUE MEN.  They serve willingly and happily.  I am pretty sure they didn't sit around the breakfast table at the fire station and say, "Please don't make us go see Bert again!"  They have been aching to see him and he was so ready to see them yesterday.  Russ Sneddon and  Ryan Peterson shaved Kirk, helped him brush his teeth and then walked with him.  Again, no words to describe my feelings....I'm going to have to get a thesaurus.

 Nursing staff were able to remove the catheter and the arterial line in his neck.  Oxygen was removed in the afternoon but was replaced about 10 last night.  Not sure yet if it is still on this morning. 

   I have been thinking about the future, specifically, how do we do this at home? I must admit I felt some really stressful moments.  I was going to sleep at the hospital with Kirk last night, just having a hard time being away from him right now.  We were laying in the dark, him on the hospital bed, me on the most uncomfortable recliner ever made, probably both thinking about the same things.  I whispered, "Are you awake?" He said yes.  "Did you know", I continued to whisper, "That faith and fear cannot go together?"  "I have heard that said before." he whispered back.

I have had a lot of fear in the last week...wow! It has been a week! Being the control freak that I am, I keep a firm grip on that fear.  I think I'm even afraid to let the fear go! Now, how crazy is that? Wait...let's not go into the crazy discussion;)  I know I have faith and I know Kirk has faith.  Why does fear seem easier to hold onto?  It's like I am hauling it around in my purse, in my pockets, even in my mind.  Well....I decided last night that I am giving it away...Free Fear!!  Bucket, Bushel, Truckload!  You can have it but I wouldn't recommend it.  I am going to get a new purse and it is going to be filled with faith.  And it will be fabulously cute too;)
Love to you all!