The SWARM

Day 73 of Our Adventure.
Can you believe it has been over 9 weeks since it all began?
I was thinking about that a lot this morning. Some of it still seems very surreal. The rest of it is a reminder that it is VERY real. It's all good, in the big picture of life.
Both Kirk and Bryn have been sick this week and they were kind enough to share their good fortune with me:( They both missed several days of life/work and both seem on the mend. Being an overachiever, I intend to make short work of the gift and be 100% tomorrow...wish me luck.
Kirk was invited to a SWARM on Saturday and, wanting to spend some more time with him, I invited myself to go too. I had to ask him what a SWARM was, I am pretty sure you might be wondering too. A SWARM is kind of like a remote control mini-convention for those who fly RC Planes. They all stand on the pre-determined "flight line" and release their planes at the same time. It sounds like a swarm of bees and is actually pretty darn cool to see. Here is the video footage I took of it:

One of my favorite parts of the SWARM were the two little commentators on the lawn in front of me. I have no idea who they are but, dang it was fun listening to their views on the event.
A couple of The Brethren, current and retired, were there making planes, flying them and having all manner of fun as they attempted to take the planes with the streamers out of the air.

















A big shout out to Ralph Derico, Jake Ervin and Dan Holdaway. It is always great to see you boys. I did ask Kirk why Cheryl and Kim weren't there and he said, "This is kind of a guy thing." Whoops;) Maybe next time.
Over the last few weeks, almost everywhere we go, someone we run into mentions the blog, that they read it, enjoy it and share it. How beautiful is that!? Thank you. We are humbled and inspired and hope that you find something of value in Our Adventure that can help make your life better.
I love this picture of Kirk at the SWARM. Yes, he does have his brace on under the sweatshirt.....otherwise he would look even skinnier! I keep trying to fatten him up without success.




I don't know that we could say this enough........THANK YOU. We are so grateful for the wonderful, genuine friendships we have come to count on in our lives. Your thoughts and prayers, positiveness, service, example and love have held us up through some of the most difficult times we have know. There truly is strength in numbers, especially when it is focused on good.
Love to you all!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Forgetting

Day 66.
A very low-key Sabbath day for us.

Kirk and I went for a walk today, around the pond, like we used to do daily. This is the first time I have been up there since Our Adventure began. It was beautiful to see the reflection of Maple Mountain and the changing leaves in the pond.

Everything was so peaceful and calming. Exactly what we needed.

I have been very reflective the last few weeks about Our Adventure and lessons that we have learned throughout the last few months. I am sure the lessons will continue, maybe not as vividly as some have been, but they will be there. I'm not worried about that.

My concern is the forgetting.

I was visiting with a darling friend, Raylene Long, the other day about the forgetting. We have several great connections, our husbands both work for Orem City, are both Police Officers and both love to ride motorcycles. We have both gone through life altering experiences where our husbands were injured and have recovered. Let me tell you a little bit more about Raylene's husband, Jeff Long.







While serving our country in the Middle East, a suicide bomber detonated a van full of explosives in very close proximity to Jeff and his team. They were driving a HumVee, Jeff was on top as "the Gunner". When the van exploded, Jeff was engulfed in flames and fell inside the HumVee. The fire suppression system was able to put the fire out but not before Jeff suffered severe burns to his face and body.

Jeff spent several months in military hospitals recovering from the burns, some of the time without his family by his side. There are still scars, emotional and physical, from his experience, and probably always will be. Jeff is another Hero in my life.

I asked Raylene how they kept the things they learned during that time, including the very miracle of him being alive, at the forefront of their mind. She told me that she had mentioned to Jeff, just a few days prior, that the scar on his face was fading. This was a very visible reminder to them of the miracle they had been given. With it fading, would the memories fade also?

Don't misunderstand me, there are some things I would be fine forgetting. But there are some vitally important lessons here that we obviously would not have been able to learn without Our Adventure. So how do you remember these things when life resumes it's normal pace, other stresses take over and you aren't "focused" on the Adventure?


For us, part of the gratitude includes putting the lessons we have learned into action in our lives. We are more mindful of others who are in difficult situations, who need our prayers and service and we act. We cherish our time together, with our family, friends and each other, in ways we didn't understand before. We take more opportunities to tell those around us how much we appreciate and love them. Kirk made the comment one day, "I have really worried my parents. They tell me they love me every time they talk to me." It wasn't that they didn't say this to him in many ways, it was just a lot more often!

So, here we are. Kirk's back is healing. He is back to work, even though it is light-duty, full duty is just around the corner. The pains have lessened. Sleep is improving. And soon, we hope, he will be able to sleep in our bed instead of the hospital bed. We know that Heavenly Father has given us a multitude of blessings. We just don't want to forget them.

This, I am sure, is another lesson we need to learn.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

8 Weeks Ago Today

Can you believe it has been eight weeks since Our Adventure began?

Sometimes it seems like years ago. Other times it feels like it was just yesterday.

We started today early by walking at the 8th Annual Suicide Prevention Walk in Provo. The theme was HOPE; Hold On. Persuade. Empower. It was good to spend our morning supporting some very special people in our lives and we are so grateful for the memories of those we have lost.

The walk was two miles and the route was one big square of several city blocks. At each corner stood a silent sign holder sharing a powerful message. I especially loved this one:




The majority of us have seen or heard the words of the Serenity Prayer throughout our lives but today they seemed to shout out to me "Hey You! Pay attention!"

In my mind, the Serenity Prayer has been a type of mantra for Alcoholics Anonymous, a poetic reminder that Heavenly Father has a plan, whether we like it or not. We cannot tell Him what to do, we just need to pay attention to the promptings of what He needs us to do.

For some reason, I have struggled with this in the last two months. But I am being reminded daily that I am not in charge. It's a bittersweet kind of thing:)

I am thinking of starting a new support group for people who think they can fix everything by themselves and in the process they create a whole new series of problems. I know I have mentioned Control Freaks Anonymous before but my BFF Cheryl said it's not actually "Anonymous" if you openly admit it.

This seems to present another problem........

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

9-11

61 days since Our Adventure began.

2 full days of light-duty work behind us.

Dang! He really is a superhero!!

I am not sure that there is really anything one could look forward to when anticipating light-duty status. Aren't you really doing the work that no one else wants to do while you watch all of your team mates do what you REALLY want to be doing? Light-duty is quite possibly an employers solution for a quicker healing time for employees.

Today's light duty assignment was a life changing, emotional ride for Kirk and he felt privileged to be in the presence of Lieutenant Joe Torrillo of the New York Fire Department as he retold his life experiences and surviving the World Trade Center Attacks.





Joe is a Hero. A man who went above and beyond his strength, his duty and his position to save the lives of countless victims of the terror attacks 11 years ago, today.

Kirk shared a quote with me that Joe shared at this event, "You want to make God laugh? Tell him what you are going to do tomorrow."

Isn't that the truth. God does have a plan and it is certain that we are all in it.

You can read his whole story here:Joe Torrillo's 9-11 Story/

I am so thankful for men like Joe. He has affected my Hero today in a very positive way. An experience he may not have ever gotten without being on light-duty. All you other Brethren are jealous now, aren't you?

Did I mention I have a motorcycle for sale;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

He's Back!!

He did it! He even made it the whole day! Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers throughout Our Adventure. We absolutely could not have gotten to this point without you.

Thank you City of Orem Police, Fire, Paramedics, Dispatchers, Office Staff. You have made the rough road smoother.

Thank you to all of our sweet family, friends and neighbors. It would be impossible to name everyone as we have been so blessed by so many.

Our biggest THANK YOU to our Father in Heaven who truly knows what we need and when we need it.

How blessed are we?

How blessed are we all?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Needy

Day 59 of Our Adventure. Less than 12 hours away from Kirk's big return to work tomorrow morning.
There are mixed feelings at this juncture. Kind of like having your youngest child graduate from high school and move out to pursue their dreams. The end of one adventure and the beginning of another.
We have carefully chosen our activities in the last few days, trying to anticipate and manage pain levels. Kirk had planned to go have lunch with the Brethren yesterday but decided it would be better to rest. Sometimes you have to rearrange your plans to fit your life.
I don't think I have had one clear, concise thought this whole weekend. I have tried to focus on the task at hand only to have it interrupted by thoughts of Kirk being at work. Examining my anxiety on this subject leaves me unable to name one thing that concerns me, just general uneasiness. I have been trying to put a name on it and I have finally decided I must just be needy.
Kirk and I joke about "neediness" a lot. Either of us can tell the other, at any time, "I think I am feeling needy" and we immediately turn our attention to each other. This phrase has rarely been uttered by Kirk and when it is utilized, it is usually me interrupting a string of motorcycle rides interspersed with mandatory "work" days. After all, someone has to pay for these rides.


One would think that having their spouse home for almost two months, unable to bend over to pick up their socks, load the dishwasher or do the laundry, would be quite enough time spent together. I don't really see it that way. I have actually learned that there is so much more that I need from him that his ability to trim his own toenails.
I have been emotionally exhausted this weekend, mostly filled with my neediness thoughts, I guess. Bottom line.....I need this man. I need him to be happy and fulfilled. I need him to need me at his side. I need his smile, his laughter and his hand to hold. I need him to protect me, strengthen me and tell me when I am getting too needy:)
Turns out that Heavenly Father knows these things too. That is why he has blessed me with this amazing man. It is also, quite possibly, the reason we have been blessed with Our Adventure. We are reminded every day how much we need each other in a world where everyone seems to be searching for solitude. I've got to tell you, life is so much better together than it could ever be alone.
Because I have one of those very odd brains I keep thinking of acronyms for the word NEED. Here are just a few for your giggling pleasure:
Never Ending Emotional Day
Now Entering Emotional Dump
Not Everyone Enjoys Dogs.....(where did this come from?)
New Experiences Emit Delirium
Yep. I am needy. I am okay with this.
Thank you for letting me vent. And Please, pray for my man that everything will go well tomorrow. I am sure it will, but everyone needs that little extra assurance that knowing their friends and family are praying for them brings.
Wait, that means you might be needy too.....just saying;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Miracles All Around

It's been a few days since the last post and tonight I find I have a few minutes to give a little update.

It is day 45 since the Adventure began.

Actually, since OUR Adventure began.

We have had perma-grins on our faces since last Wednesday when we received the most beautiful news that Kirk would be released for light-duty on September 10th and an anticipated full release on January 14th of next year. It truly is a miracle.

I was visiting with a lovely friend I have met through work today and relating the details of Our Adventure and the miracles we have been blessed with. As we talked about attitudes and trials and lessons learned, a very powerful thought came to my mind: We witness miracles everyday but only seem to openly recognize them when in a crisis situation. Why is that?

I want to change that in my life. I want to be openly grateful for everything. For good times and bad. For busy days and restful evenings. For love, family, friends and even for friendships that have ended. I want to recognize the miracle of forgiveness, of healing and of the atonement. I want to be aware of the miracle of life, including my own. Every breath is a miracle. I need to make the most of even every breath.

Unfortunately, we get so caught up in "life" that we miss the miracles in every moment. How did we get here? And is there a map to get back?

I've decided I will set a specific time aside each day to focus on the every day miracles, vocalize them, write them down. They will eventually become the way I look at life and the things I focus on. It's my little way of taking some of that control back in my life. (A shout out to my fellow control freaks;))

So today, I would like to tell you about a couple of miracles in my day....
1. It is a miracle that I have not killed Kirk through my medication mis-management as he found an error in my preparation of pills for him today. Just last night, while filling all of the meds I thought to myself, "Dang, I'm getting good at this."

2. It is a miracle that Kirk is able to notice my mis-management of pills and correct it and that he can now choose to manage his own medications. :)

3. Our girls, Bryn and Dani, and son-in-law Steven, are miracles. They continue to take care of things for us without even thinking about it. Dani said today, "That's what we do. We haven't done anything out of the ordinary." What she is forgetting is that every minute she or Steven or Bryn spends taking care of things for us is a minute of their time they are not taking care of their own things. We are grateful.

4. Our family and friends are miracles. They have been there for every thing we need and more. We honestly don't know how we will repay them. It will take a few more miracles.....but we believe in miracles.

Love to you all!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Kate, Wes and the Four C's

Day 40.

6 week mark since the beginning of the Adventure.

Kate Jordan, one of Bryn's best friends and a girl we choose to call one of our own, got married today to Wes Jacobsen. It was beautiful and I am so glad we were able to be there to witness that once in a lifetime moment with them and their family and friends.

We had a very low key day again today as Kirk was still so sore from Thursday's exertion. He knew he would need his energy to be able to be at Kate and Wes's wedding.



Shortly after the ceremony started I looked over at Kirk and asked him if he was okay. He showed me his shirt sleeve that was starting to soak through with sweat, at his wrists! Wearing his turtle shell is like walking around in a mini sauna. By the time we got home and he removed his shell, his shirt was soaked. I think he would tell you it was totally worth it.

The ceremony was officiated by Rod Oldroyd and he drew everyone's attention to four words that they would hear in the actual marriage ceremony; Choose, Companion, Cleave and Cherish. They were choosing each other as their Companion and they should Cleave to each other and Cherish each other. Beautiful words that should be remembered every day.

I snapped a few pictures of the wedding and wanted to share them with you.





























We were also blessed by Danielle, Whitney and Kate Carly and their "Girl's Day" cinnamon rolls and sugar cookies. I think Danielle is trying to fatten us up! We're okay with that....this was her best batch yet;)





Hope you all had a wonderful Saturday too!
















- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Are You Prepared?

35 days since the beginning of our Adventure. Each day, each hour, each minute, is one more gift we have been given. Some of those gifts are wrapped up beautifully with nice big bows. Some have been disguised as difficulties and pain. Nevertheless, they are all gifts.

After our fun-filled, fast-paced day yesterday we were both physically and mentally exhausted today. So glad it was Sunday, a much slower-paced day.





Jim and Danielle stopped by yesterday after running the Hobble Creek Half Marathon. I love this picture of them, full of energy, vitality, happiness. The perfect description of them. Kirk asked Jim what it was like to run the half marathon and his response was powerful, "It's like everything in life. If you are prepared, it's great. If not, it sucks." Jim and Danielle have been preparing for this run for several months and it seems to have paid off.

This is the second time in as many days that being prepared has been discussed. I had a late lunch with Cheryl on Friday and we talked about her efforts of updating her Emergency 72 hour kit. She is doing everything she can to be prepared in the event of an emergency. That's Cheryl on the left, me on the right. We have had many discussions about being prepared over the last almost 20 years of friendship.



Kirk and I have always been into "preparedness" whether it is food storage, camping equipment, road trips. It is one of those things that I could talk about, think about and plan out for hours. Typing this post has made me dissect my passion of being prepared. Bottom line....it is a control issue. I am starting to feel like this is Control Freaks Anonymous....and, in case you were wondering...I am the president.

One thing we were never prepared for is our Adventure. We were not prepared for the outpouring of love, support, prayers and service of our family, friends and neighbors. We could have never imagined being prepared for the mental and physical toll this could take on each of us. How do you prepare for these things?

We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and in a book of scripture known as The Doctrine and Covenants is a verse that says, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." (D&C 38:30). I have hung on to this verse as a guiding light in my life. When something worried me, I would figure out what I needed to do to be prepared and do it. This works for many of life's trials and experiences. Just like Jim said, "If you are prepared, it's great. If not, it sucks."

We may not have prepared specifically for the Adventure but we see that the steps we have made, for what we thought were other reasons, have blessed us. We have been blessed by the preparations and actions of so many others that, when added to our efforts, the picture becomes much clearer, much more doable, much more beautiful.

As we thank our Father in Heaven each day in the last 35 for the blessings we have been given, we always start by thanking Him for our Adventure. We have learned so much about ourselves, each other, our family, friends and neighbors that we would not have had the opportunity to learn in any other way.

We have learned that we did something right in our parenting efforts by seeing the way our kids have supported us through their service and love. That alone makes the Adventure worth it! Who would have thought that teaching your kids to serve others would have been part of the preparation for an Adventure such as ours?

We have learned that we still have a lot to learn and a lot to prepare for. I guess if you are not preparing for something, you might not actually be living. And, everything you do is a preparation for something in your life. Be prepared and it will be great!!!

Love you all!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Gifts

Kirk said that last night was the best night he has had since our Adventure began 34 days ago. He only woke up a couple of times, one time was my fault, he had heard the bathroom door close and said, "Hey, what are you doing?" I went into his room and we had a nice little visit. It is interesting how deep our conversations can get in such a short time. This was something we needed, to become even closer, and it is a gift we have been given with our Adventure.


One of our blog friends recommended some movies for our family to watch together, one of them was called The Ultimate Gift. Dad had brought up a bag of what he called "babysitting tools" (movies) to occupy his time with Kirk. One of the movies happened to be The Ultimate Gift and Kirk and I watched it together one quiet evening. We both loved it....the message of the movie is one that we could all learn from, the true gifts in life that we often take for granted.

Being inspired by the movie, we would like to share some of the gifts we have received from our Adventure with you. They are in no particular order, each bearing the same value in our eyes.

We believe that having each other is a gift. Being married to a Police Officer that is an adrenaline junkie, motorcycle riding, gun shooting, fast paced guy can naturally make a spouse, like me, keep a nightmarish ending in the back of her mind. Kirk used to tell me, "If I die in a motorcycle crash, know that I went smiling." While this is a very serious statement for Kirk, it's not really a lot to hang on to for me, especially with the all too recent Adventure still fresh on my mind.

Our Family and Friends have been an immeasurable gift. The love, support, service and prayers on our behalf is more than we could have ever asked for or imagined. Asking for help is one of the most difficult things in life, but being served in such a loving way has humbled us. We more fully understand Charity as the pure love of Jesus Christ because of what we have experienced through the Adventure.

Kirk has been in a hospital bed in the spare bedroom for the last three weeks. As visitors have come and gone, all passing by the foot of his bed, many have given his feet a little squeeze as they leave the room. Being able to feel someone squeeze his feet has been such a gift for Kirk. I am not sure how he would have felt about that prior to the Adventure but, he counts it as a gift now.

Being able to share our feelings, experiences and thoughts through the blog has been a gift. It is therapeutic and even calming for me. It is like writing in a journal, documenting events that dominate our life...change our life....and hoping that writing it down will help us remember how it felt in the moment. That is definitely part of learning...remembering.

Remote controls are a gift. In the first week home our cousin/brother, Jim Carly, came over and installed a remote control on the ceiling fan for Kirk. He uses this remote more than the TV remote, needing to change the temperature many times each day or even turn the light on and off. We wouldn't have even thought of needing this before our journey began.

Living in a time where modern medicine is so advanced is a gift. Kirk and I have talked a few times about what would happen to a person who lived a hundred years ago and broke his back. Imagine a farmer, whose whole existence is spent in the field to support his wife and family. He breaks his back and as family members try to get him back to the house he becomes paralyzed, unable to move at all. He is in excruciating pain without any type of medication or therapy that will relieve his distress. How blessed are we to have skilled, knowledgable doctors, surgeons and medical staff that can determine what is wrong and make every effort to correct the problem as well as keep the patient in as little pain as possible through medication. What a gift we have be given.

These are just a few of our gifts. We hope that it inspires you to think about your life, examine the very minuet details of your abilities, resources and your loved ones. Have you overlooked the importance of the little things, and even the big things? What are we doing with our gifts? Don't wait for your own Adventure before you realize how blessed you are.

That too, is a gift.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Just Ask

Today is the 33rd day of our Adventure, our journey of learning and growing.

Kirk continues to push the limits, reaching as far as he can to return to life as we knew it as quick as he can. He is going stir-crazy not being able to get going and having to spend so much time in bed. Dad talked to him the other day about finding some new hobbies, ones that did not risk life and limb. "Maybe gardening or yard work." Dad offered. Kirk chuckled and said, "Dad, I hate yard work. And besides, this is the best my yard has looked because everyone else is taking care of it!" By this time they were both laughing. Two of my favorite men:)



Today marks one year since my uncle, Roger Carly, passed away. While I miss him and think of him daily, I am also grateful to feel his presence in our life. So much has changed in the last 365 days and I am keenly aware that none of it is in my hands. It never was. This is not just an admission, a baring of my control freak soul, it is an embrace of a new normal.

Our new normal is like looking through the glass of a shattered windshield. You can see the light, just not as clearly as you would like. Some things are distorted, maybe because we are not prepared to see them clearly yet. It's a process.

Part of the process finds me praying....a lot. I like to think that I used to pray regularly. I had a prayer in my heart, and thanked Heavenly Father for the things I felt that we were blessed with. Prayers, especially those filled with thanksgiving, seem so much more powerful now. I know Heavenly Father hasn't changed anything, which leaves only one conclusion....we have changed.

Prayer has changed our life as much as the Adventure has. In fact, the two seem inseparable. The Adventure began and we prayed. As soon as I hung up the phone with Steven telling me "Kirk's been in a motorcycle crash and they life flighted him to Utah Valley.....but he is okay.", I fell to my knees and prayed that he really was okay. As soon as family could be gathered at the hospital many more prayers were uttered and as he was readied for an MRI his dad and brother Rick gave him a priesthood blessing. As I watched family, doctors, co-workers and friends talk to him in those first few hours, I prayed that everything would go well. Within the first 24 hours the heavens were flooded with prayers on Kirk's behalf. We prayed for him. We prayed for the surgeons and staff. We prayed that he would not be paralyzed, that he would not have deficits, that we would all be able to understand and embrace our future. We prayed for the biggest things and the smallest things.

Our prayers have only increased. They have actually become continual. Why? Because we could not do this without Divine Guidance. Not praying for help but expecting that everything will go well is like trying to drive cross country without a map. Sure, there might be some road signs you can follow but without the guidance from a perfect source chances are you are going to get lost.
In our prayer together last night I asked Heavenly Father for a specific blessing. Today, it is like the floodgates opened....maybe just part way but open nonetheless. My first thought was to thank Heavenly Father. As I pulled over in my car and offered a prayer of thanksgiving I thought about how miraculous prayer is. In an instant I heard, "All you had to do was ask." That simple. All I had to do was ask.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Grow

Day 29. The Sabbath. A day to grow.
Kirk and I both slept in a bit today. Sleeping in anymore means anything past 7:30 AM.
He is a pretty sore camper today due to some amazing PUSH Therapy our dear friend and neighbor, Jennifer Tippets, administered yesterday. It is more intensive than your average massage and she works deep into the muscles to increase blood flow and healing. She only worked his legs but it actually relieved his back pain too! There is so much pain involved during the actual massage but when she would finish with one area he would tell us how relaxed that area was. Jennifer told Kirk he was going to feel like he had worked out really hard at the gym. She also told him he would probably feel sick as the toxins in his muscles leave his body. He was sick, most of the night and feels like he ran a marathon.
Rick, Lori and Cole came by this afternoon bearing gifts for us even though it is Cole's 18th birthday. Lori had made rolls for their dinner and brought a pan of them over so they could rise and we could bake them for our dinner and enjoy not only the taste but the aroma. I have mentioned how much we love them, right?
My dear friend of 34 years, Beth Bishop, sent me the following quote today:
"When trials are not consequences of our disobedience, they are evidence the Lord feels we are prepared to grow more." ~Richard G. Scott
This is just what we needed to be reminded of today. Maybe you needed to be reminded too.


Not long before the Adventure began, Kirk and I had been discussing a situation with my job that was stressing me out. He said something that has really stuck with me; "You never grow when you are coasting. Growth only happens when you are peddling hard."
We are peddling. We are focused. We are growing.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Big Jake

The last four weeks have been a blur. Today, day 28, has been probably the most beautiful and bittersweet that we have experienced through our Adventure.

Jake and Kim Ervin came over today for a visit and to have lunch with us. Jake is a Public Safety Officer for Orem City and has been Kirk's co-worker, riding buddy and co-mechanic on many-a-project. They have spent almost as much time together in the last few years than Kirk and I have. Because of this, Jake is known in our family as "Dad's boyfriend", in the most professional way, of course;).



Like so many of our wonderful friends, Jake has been here to help with anything we have needed. A blessing of the Brotherhood and of a "brother".

Today Jake took Shamika, Kirk's beloved BMW motorcycle, home with him to prepare her for a new home, new rides, a new owner. This is one of those days that we knew was coming but has arrived too soon and it has been met not only with heartache but with gratitude as well. There is a very short list of people Kirk would trust Shamika with. Jake is at the top.

Shamika has taken Kirk to Heaven and back over the last 4 years with trips to Canada, Colorado, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Idaho, Wyoming, California and all over Utah. We have many pictures of Shamika with an amazing site in the background. Kind of like having someone take your picture on a vacation, only Shamika was the "person" in the picture. I guess this is something motorcycle enthusiast do.












Shamika has become a member of our family. At one time she even took over the garage. Kirk told me her paint was water-based and being in the weather would not be good for her. I accepted it, for a while. She has every accessory known to mankind installed on her and has enough storage to keep her rider well equipped for a 2 week excursion. She has a piece of Kirk's heart, so she has a piece of mine too.

John Wayne plays Jacob McCandles in the old western Big Jake. Near the end he is just about to render a man lifeless when the man asks who he is. John Wayne replies, "I am Jacob McCandles." The shocked man says, "I thought you was dead!" Big Jake responds with two words; "Not Hardly."


Kirk and I have been watching this show tonight as I have been preparing our post and I find it perfectly fitting that the hero in the show shares the same name as our dear friend. Big Jake.

I also find Big Jake's words appropriate for our Adventure. Will the fun and excitement end because Shamika isn't with us? Will Kirk not have hobbies that bring him as much joy as riding has? In Big Jake's powerful voice I hear...."Not Hardly."



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Choices

We have been blessed with two thoughtful, compassionate, giving daughters and, as a bonus, we have also acquired one amazing son-in-law. As many in the family have said, Dani sure set the bar high when she agreed to marry Steven. Some day, we fully expect to have another son-in-law that will challenge Steven's "favorite Son-In-Law" status;).







Throughout Dani and Bryn's lives we have tried to instill the very simple fact that "Attitude is Everything". It is really that easy.

25 days since the adventure began and almost every visitor to our home, on the phone, in comments on the blog and facebook, talks about how positive we have been through this whole journey. What we hope everyone realizes is that it is a choice, a very conscious effort, to make the best of everything.

It can be so easy to be consumed by the negativity in everyday life. How many times have you checked facebook to see what was going on with your friends to find a bunch of comments relaying to the world how bad their day was, how unhappy they are or how much they hate their job? It is not only consuming, it is contagious!!

In EVERY situation in life, you have two choices: You can make the best of it or you can make the worst of it. It's your choice.

This philosophy is the core of our beliefs and guides the actions in our lives. It also gives great comfort to control freaks, such as myself. No matter what the situation, no matter what someone else says or does to hurt you, you can CHOOSE to make the best of it by controlling YOUR thoughts, words and actions and only sharing the positive ones.

Just so you know, our adventure is no cake walk. It is probably more emotionally draining than anything else. Kirk made the comment to one of our neighbors today that he used to think it would be great if all he had to do was lay in bed and watch TV. After 25 days in bed and only 20 minutes of standing/sitting/walking at a time, he has changed his mind. He has been in pain, achy, frustrated, tired and even helpless at times. Would you know it if you stopped by or called? Probably not. Why? He has chosen to make the best of it and that is what he will share.

We both want to thank you for the continued prayers for Kirk, his healing and our family. Thank you for the service you continue to give and the thoughtful words you share. This all helps us to persevere, to make the best of the adventure and to learn the most that we can so that some day we can help lighten someone else's load.
Love to you all!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Moments

Life is so amazing when you stand back, take a breath and focus on the precise moment you are in. How many times today have you focused on any one moment? Have there been moments today that should have been savored but in the bustle of life they passed by with hardly a thought? Let me share a couple of ours.......


Day 20. Date night. We decided to stay in tonight:) Glad we did or we would have missed some great company.

The first picture is of one of the many girls we claim as our own, Dani Brady, and her boys Jack and Nick. Dani has been in our life for about 15 years and has been one of our Dani's best friends. The dogs were so glad to have them here and the boys were totally mesmerized by Kirk and his "crash video".


This last picture is an older one of Jim and Danielle Carly and their adorable kids (L-R) Eli, Kate, Porter and Whitney. Jim is actually our cousin but we refer to him as a brother and the kids call them Aunt and Uncle when introducing them to anyone. Kirk and I look up to them (even though they are slightly younger, okay...and maybe shorter....) in so many ways and feel so blessed to have them in our lives.
Jim and Danielle came over tonight and Jim installed a remote control on the fan in the bedroom for Kirk. Something so simple for Jim but that will make such a difference for Kirk on a daily basis.
I hope you don't get tired of me telling you how utterly amazing our daughters are. I don't know that a day has passed in the last 20 that they have not been right here, wherever here is at the time, to support and care for Kirk and me. Dani and Bryn are the two best things that have ever happened to us.
We have blessings like this every day. Again, a small amount of time out of their lives makes such a difference in ours. I brought Chinese food home for our date night. Here's a picture of my fortune:



May you be just as blessed:)

The Other Side

How many times have you heard the scripture from Matthew 25:30 that states, "Verily I say unto you, that inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."? In the last 18 days I believe I have a much better understanding of the love our Savior has for us and how important it is for us to share that love through our service to others.

In responding to an email from the Relief Society President, Karen Murray, tonight this scripture kept coming to the forefront of my mind. She was asking how things were going and letting me know of meals she had scheduled for us and if there was anything else we needed.

Yes, there is one thing we still need....a way to thank everyone for the blessings they have brought to our family through their service.

Through our amazing Mapleton 21st Ward family, our immediate and extended family, our friends and co-workers/brethren/employers (Orem City Fire and Police, Freedom Home Health and Hospice), we have been the recipients of delicious meals, desserts, snacks, walking buddies, companionship, cleaning, visiting, medical equipment, phone calls, emails of encouragement and most importantly, prayers on our behalf.

When Kirk first came home I was confident I could handle everything. Karen and her husband Brian were one of our first visitors and she asked if the ward could provide meals. I was going to tell her we would be fine but she quickly insisted that I let the sisters have the opportunity to serve. I can tell you from personal experience that I ALWAYS receive more blessings when serving someone. I never imagined the blessings on the other side of that service.

Kirk and I were talking about what we are learning through our adventure and one of the first things he said was, "I am not going to avoid going to visit someone who has had surgery or an injury anymore. I always thought I would be bothering them." I can't tell you how many times I have thought the same thing. Being on the other side of this situation has helped us understand how important this can be for the healing person and their family.

I want to challenge everyone reading this to think about their family, friends and neighbors. Have any of them been ill, had surgery, been homebound for one reason or another? I want you to call them, stop by, send a card or take something to them in the next 24 hours. One person. One act of service. See how it changes YOUR life. Then we would like to have a little R&R, Return and Report. Let us know in your blog comments how this made you feel. Tell us how you feel to be on the giving side of service. When you are on the other side (the receiving end) you will have a better understanding of how important it is to let someone be on the giving side.

It is always so much easier to give than to receive but don't ever cheat someone out of their blessings when it is your turn to receive. It sounds so simple....and it really is. Try it!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Going For Gold

Kirk and I are sitting here with Bryn and Steven,watching the Women's Gymnastics competition. I must tell you that Steven was the most excited of all of us to watch this...he is fabulous at all sports (except women's gymnastics;) and loves to watch sporting events.

The competitors are absolutely amazing! They are so strong, disciplined, focused and talented.
Bryn

We just watched a girl from Russia on the uneven bars and as she circled around the top bar, using only her hands, Bryn announced that she was able to do this when she was in gymnastics (ages 6-8). Steven, with some doubt in his voice, questioned the validity of Bryn's statement to which she fervently responded, "I got a participation ribbon!" She then giggled and said that the ribbon meant that she wasn't really very good at it. She isn't exactly correct. She was good, naturally good, but her heart was not in it. And that's okay....when you are as talented as she is, at so many things, you have to pick and choose which hobbies will be a priority in your life.

It is the same scenario for adults. We find things we are interested in, spend our time, effort and resources and make it a priority in our life. Sometimes we get a participation ribbon. Sometimes we get the gold.



Riding motorcycles is where Kirk's heart is at. It is the culmination of adrenaline, skill and adventure. It is challenging both physically and mentally. It is has been a hobby of his for more than 30 years. It has changed his life, in more ways than one.


It is no surprise that the continuation of riding motorcycles has been a topic of conversation in our family. In the first few days after the adventure began Kirk told Steven and his nephews, "Don't sell your bikes. We're going to be back on those in no time." On day six he was rethinking things. Six days laying in bed with crazy amounts of pain can do that to a person who is so used to go-go-going.

Day 17 and the topic has been brought up again. Should he sell the bike, or both bikes? What would the consequences be if there was another crash? Riding has brought so much joy to his life and the answers will surely take some time. Kirk says, "The decision has already been made in my mind, it is just getting my heart to go along with it."

We had our first "outing" today in Kirk's beloved Rover. He was delighted to get out, even if it was to a doctor's appointment. About ten minutes into the ride he looked at me and said, "Riding in a car is not as much fun as I thought it would be." I can't imagine that reclining in the passenger seat with a back brace on and traveling on a not-so-smooth road would be enticing for many.

Dr. Karl Francis was our "approach surgeon" meaning he opened Kirk up and got everything out of the way for Dr. Paul Gardner to be able to work on Kirk's spine. Our appointment today was just to check his surgery site and make sure there was no problem or infection. We were able to get in quickly and Dr. Francis was there before Kirk could even lay down. Everything looked great!

Our "fun" outing exhausted Kirk but he was so happy to have his friend Ralph bring him some lunch and hang out for the afternoon. What would we do without our family and friends?
They have truly carried us through each day with their love and support.

We retire tonight, full of gratitude and appreciation. Lots to think about and lots more to be thankful for. One thing I know for sure is that we won't settle for a participation ribbon when it comes to our future. We will definitely be going for the gold.







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We Owe You

16 days into the adventure and we continue to have so much support through visits, messages, phone calls, food and service. As we sit together each night and talk about the events of the day, our conversation always turns to our gratitude to each and every person who has taken time out of their lives to help in some way. The same question keeps coming up..... how do we ever thank everyone?

One of the first times this question was vocalized was in the hospital the day after Kirk's surgery. Dr. Gardner had stopped in to check on Kirk, delighted us with his humor and humbled us with his knowledge and skill. He left the room and Kirk said, "How do we ever thank him?"

This amazing man has given Kirk mobility, hope and a quality of life that exceeds our expectations every day. He has given me my sweetheart for whatever amount of time Heavenly Father deems is "enough". He has given Dani and Bryn "Daddy Daughter Dates" and opportunities to share their lives and love with him. He has given favorite son-in-law, Steven, inspiration to search out and find a new hobby they can share together. He has given his parents more time to see their "baby" continue to grow, be successful and meet challenges head on.

During our daily reflections Kirk said, "People go to medical school every day with the goal of having that one experience that makes a difference. That one surgery that changes someone's life. I was that one." He was...and is...that miracle. That is the way we see it. Dr. Gardner seems to humbly take it in stride, stating that someone "was looking out for Kirk".

Dr. Gardner is just one of the many we owe a debt of gratitude to. I am afraid to start naming every individual that we love and appreciate for fear that I would miss someone....my thoughts are still running 90 miles a minute....and there are SOOOO many.

Kirk has a great saying that always makes me giggle.... "I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it." We are going to owe a LOT of people. And we plan on working that debt off for the rest of our lives.
Love to you all!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Whose Back Is Really Broken?

It has been a beautiful Sabbath day, so many friends and family stopping by, bringing well wishes and delicious food. (Ralph and Cher....seriously, you can cook ANY time!)

We were blessed to have two of the young men from our ward administer the sacrament to us since we were unable to be at church. Kirk asked them if they get to do this each week and Rhees, one of the young men said he really enjoys it. He said, "Some guys don't like to do it but, that's their loss." Wow! I want to look at church service that way.

We have three sweet dogs, Jazz (black Cock-a-poo, 16 years old), Crazy (apricot colored Pomeranian Chihuahua mix, 7 years old) and Buddy ( 3 year old German Shepherd/Red Heeler mix). They all love Kirk so much and knew something was wrong the day of the accident. The whole time he was in the hospital they moped around and seemed so sad when I would get home.

The day Kirk came home I had the dogs on a leash anticipating this overwhelming excitement, jumping and potential injury to Kirk. The response when he arrived was quite the opposite. It took them all a while to realize it was really him! Jazz is so old and doesn't see or hear very well and of all of them it seems to have affected her the least. Crazy and Buddy have replaced that sullenness with the ultimate in protection and companionship. Buddy is generally on the floor on the side of Kirk's bed or on a chair where he can watch his master sleep.

Crazy is a little more "paws on" in the recuperation process with her dad and chooses to lay on the bed, right next to him, for the majority of the day. Kirk wondered allowed today, "Whose back is really broken here?"

It is amazing what these furry little creatures can sense and do in your life. I am a firm believer in Pet Therapy and I know they have played such a big part in Kirk's healing.










- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

BEST Day EVER!

In celebration of the two week mark...day 14...Kirk walked 14 blocks!!

When I asked Kirk what he wanted to say on the blog today he said, "This has been the best day EVER!" You can see those words in his face, actions and of course, his attitude.


Our Physical Therapist came again today and told Kirk he can see continued improvement in him each time. That alone has got to make a guy feel great!!


Dad and Dave (nephew) installed a shower bar yesterday and I cannot tell you how much of a difference that made for BOTH of us! I must admit that our first home shower experience is now referred to as "The Shower Incident".

I thought I was completely prepared to assist Kirk in the shower. I had a shower chair in the tub, his shower gel, scrubby (like a loofa only much more manly), a towel to dry off with and clothes to get into afterwards.

The first sign of a problem came as he sat down on the shower chair. I had not considered that it was on the lowest setting possible and was so low that Kirk immediately said, "Oh crap...this is low!" I tried to reassure him that everything was okay and, since we only have a 20 minute time frame for him to be sitting and/or standing, we should get him washed up and I would be able to assist him out of the shower.

By the time we finished with the shower Kirk was uncontrollably shivering(He generally keeps it so cold in our house that you could hang a side of beef!) I grabbed another towel and tried to get him covered and dry. He tried to stand up but did not have the strength. He said, "This is not good." As a police Officer/Firefighter/Paramedic, Kirk has had the opportunity of rescuing many citizens who, for one reason or another, are stuck somewhere in the bathroom, usually without clothing. I can't imagine that his mind did not consider himself on the other side of the rescue.

I immediately thought of the Caregiver Support Groups and classes that I have instructed and went into action. I placed one foot in the tub, between his legs, one outside of the tub, squatted lower and had him use me as his support to stand. He calls it a "Fireman Lift" I call it miraculous! We got him out, dressed and back into bed. It was so hard to get his body to calm back down and to get his pain under control but he kept saying, "I'm so glad I can feel my legs. I'm so glad I can feel my legs," I love how he can put life into perspective so quickly.

He slept so good. I would like to say my preparations helped but I'm afraid it was my lack of preparations:/ Either way....we worked through it together and all is well. That's the way you get through anything...together. I am so glad we are on this adventure together.....it would be so lonely without him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad