Goodbye 2012

I can hardly believe that it is December 31, 2012. The end of one crazy year!
It has been 170 days since Our Adventure began. It has flown by and crawled at the pace of a snail all at once, if that even makes sense.
A more beautiful day could not have been offered for the beginning of our journey. We had breakfast together and then began focusing on our individual "priorities" for the day. Kirk had found a weight lifting set in the classifieds and had made the purchase and the pick up before 10:00 AM. He loaded "Inga" the dirt bike, on the trailer and went to pick up our favorite son-in-law Steven and nephew, Kenny, who would be joining him on his third ride of the week.

Third ride of the week?!?! Has this man no job? Responsibilities? A wife with a Honey-Do list?

Yes. Yes. And, yes.

This is the life of a Firefighter. When the opportunity for Kirk to transfer back to the Fire/Paramedic side at the Orem Department of Public Safety, it almost seemed like an answer to prayers for this motorcycle riding man. Firefighters work a grueling 48 hours on duty and then enjoy 96 hours off duty. It is not a schedule for the normal man. ;)  The Brethren refer to each 48 hours on as a "Tour of Duty". Kirk had just transferred back at the end of June and had served three tours before Our Adventure began.

Back at home I was making preparations for an early birthday dinner for Steven including his favorite dessert, lemon meringue pie, which turned out pretty great, if I do say so myself. ;)



I had just tidied everything up when the phone rang. It was Steven. "Kirk has been in a motorcycle crash but he is okay." His voice was so calm that I thought he was just teasing. "You are so funny" I said, "What time will you guys be home for dinner?" He repeated what he had said the first time and added, "They life-flighted him to Utah Valley and he should be there by now." I told him I would head right over. I was trying to digest three key points from the phone call; crash, life-flight and he's okay.

I immediately knelt down and prayed with all of my heart, "Please Heavenly Father, please let him be okay." I felt an overwhelming sense of peace; everything would be fine. I held on to that moment with an ever tightening grip that almost became a strangle hold over the next few days. I even started to doubt the feeling. Did I just make this up in my head. Did I really get an answer to my prayer? I think this is human nature. We ask for Heavenly Father's help and then doubt the blessing we have been given. Why do we do this? Wouldn't our lives be so much easier if we just believed?

Over the next few days we were granted a miracle. Millions of miracles! The word "Miracle" became our new mantra. Again, doubt would creep in and make me question the blessings..... "Are we worthy of these miracles?" The answer? Heavenly Father thinks so.

Over the next 170 days we have watched our life become rich with blessings. We are even closer as husband and wife. Our girls, Bryn and Dani and her husband Steven, have given up so many of their own lives to be available at any moment.






We have enjoyed the support, love, prayers and service from family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and our ward family. They carried so much of the load for us that we almost felt weightless. I never realized what my actions, bringing a meal to a neighbor, running errands for another or praying for them during their time of need would do for them. It literally "lightens their load". Another revelation for us both was that we could "feel" the prayers that were offered for us. I don't even know if there are words to describe this. I do know that I will forever be grateful for those prayers.



We are optimistically looking forward to our January 22nd meeting with Starlene Clayson NP at Dr. Gardner's office. We anticipate a clean bill of health and a 100% clearance to return to work with the Brethren at the Fire Station. It will be a celebration of epic proportions!




We leave you at the end of 2012 with this:

The memories of our Adventure filled year
Are full of miracles we'll always hold dear.
Millions of lessons and blessings galore
With all of this, who could ask for more?
But more we were given, much more we received
Our greatest lesson was just to Believe.
Believe in miracles, great and small,
Believe in the love God gives us all.
Believe in the goodness of family and friends
Whose service and prayers seem to have no end.
Believe in this truth, that God has a plan
And He'll help you through if you'll just take His hand.
He'll love you and guide you and help you to grow
He'll be right beside you, of this we know.
So through this Season, with all you receive,
We hope that you will always Believe.

May 2013 bring you copious amounts of happiness and blessings! You are worth it!

Love to you all!
- Posted by Gena Bertelsen using BlogPress from my iPad

Every Second Counts

106 days since Our Adventure began.
2,544 Hours.
152,640 Minutes.
9,158,400 Seconds.

Putting it into numbers seems to makes it feel so recent and so far in the past all at the same time.

We went to see Dr. Paul Gardner's PA, Star Clayson, last week after Kirk did a flexion and extension series of x-rays. Star put the x-ray films up on the board, separately and one on top of the other to see if everything lined up. The best words came out of her mouth, "Everything looks very stable. It couldn't be better."

Absolute relief was shining through our smiles like the rays of the sun after a stormy day. We ran several questions past her, the biggest of which was, "When can he get out of his shell?" Star wanted to speak with Dr. Gardner but felt that he would recommend transitioning into a soft corset over the next month or two. She said she would give us a call when she had spoken with him and got his opinion.

As you might expect, Kirk transitioned himself out of the shell that night. No call from Star. No soft corset. No surprise here. He went to work the next day, with shell in hand, "just incase".

Three days later he got the call, "Dr. Gardner would like you to transition into the soft corset over the next few weeks." Star told him. "Well, what if I just transition myself out of the shell without the soft corset?" Kirk casually asked. Star gave him the recommendations from Dr. Gardner and Kirk finally told her he had already "transitioned" himself out of the shell. "How long have you been out of it?" she asked. "Since Tuesday." Star asked how he felt and his response was joyful....."Better than ever!"








And he is.

He has transitioned out of the hospital bed and out of the shell. He continues to physically do more and more each day while taking fewer and fewer medications for pain. After spending the morning raking leaves with his dad, brother Brad and nephew Cole, mowing the lawn and even doing some laundry, Kirk walked into the room, threw his hands up in the air like a veteran referee calling the winning touchdown in the final seconds of the championship game, and exclaimed, "I'm back!"

What a beautiful journey we have been blessed with. Every single, miraculous, second has brought us together in ways we couldn't have managed on our own.

We are stronger.
We are more focused.
We are giddy.

And "we" are searching for a new motorcycle:)





- Posted by Gena Bertelsen using BlogPress from my iPad

It Will All Be Worth It

Eleven Weeks.
We are at eleven weeks since the beginning of Our Adventure.
Kirk and I have spent most of the day at home today. For once, I am the one not feeling well. Ironically, he says this is probably his best day so far.
We watched the movie 17 Miracles this afternoon after a sweet friend of mine challenged me to watch it. We have heard what a great movie it was, and we agree. However, my eyes are swollen and red from shedding tears for over an hour. If you haven't seen it, you definitely should make every effort you can to watch it. Make sure you have the kleenex close by.




This is a true story of pioneers from the Martin and Willie Handcart Company that crossed the plains to come to Zion. Two of the pioneers, Sarah Anne Frank and George Paddley, were obviously so in love and had planned to be married when they reached Zion. George asked Sarah several times why they were waiting to be married, she would tell him, "It will all be worth it."
I needed that today. We are constantly grateful for the multitude of miracles we have been given but, as time goes on, the miracles seem to be disguised as other trials, stresses and worries. I am human. I am imperfect. I get frustrated, ticked off, impatient, discouraged, sad, mad, worried, doubtful and weak. Today, I needed that reminder, "It will all be worth it."
And it will.
Watching this movie was a great reminder that prayer works and that every challenge we face is meant for our good and our growth. In short, it will all be worth it.
I am starting to wonder who really needed that lesson on patience;)
- Posted by Gena Bertelsen using BlogPress from my iPad

How Do You Want To Go?

Can you believe it has been 50 days?

We can't and we are living Our Adventure. Kirk just said, "Can you believe how long it takes to heal?"

Yes. Yes I can.

We just got back from a lovely walk in the Mapleton darkness. Very few towns are like our sweet Mapleton. Country charm, very few street lights, chickens across the street and even in the cloak of darkness you can recognize your neighbors voice as he jogs past you and says "It's good to see you out." (Right back at you Andrew Woodworth!)

We just earned our second traffic light in town and it was kind of bittersweet. A second traffic light suggests growth and we don't want to lose that small town, rural feel but it sure is great to be able to get across Highway 89 at Maple Street. Yep. Bittersweet.

Today has been a good day for Kirk. His pain seems to have subsided a bit after the last few days. It is amazing how wonderful he can be feeling one day and the next can bring back some of the fiercest pain and knock him right back down for a day or too. We are grateful for ALL days, however we get them.



I thought you would all like to know that Shamika has returned. She has been parked at our home for almost a week now. Kirk seems to have a little twinkle in his eye and skip in his step when she is here. I am not jealous. Really. No...REALLY. If she was a living, breathing woman I would maybe be a little bit jealous.

Who am I kidding?

Kirk loves this bike beyond explanation. I accept this because it makes him happy. When he is happy, I am happy. That's how marriages work, when two people love each other enough to let them live. That brings me to the title of this post....How would you want to go?

Kirk has sarcastically told me through the years that if he dies while riding his motorcycle, "Know that I went with a smile!" While I would sarcastically respond with, "You have increased your life insurance policy, right?", I never really thought we would face this type of situation. After all, don't we all think, "That will never happen to me."?

On tonight's walk I brought up this "If I die..." comment and Kirk, in all seriousness, stood by his statement saying, "Hon, I'm not kidding, I would go doing what I loved!" My response was, "And if you don't die?"

Maybe it is just women who think like this. I am looking at Our Adventure and feeling so blessed that Kirk has healed in ways we didn't even think was possible. The initial outlook was NOT good and here we are 50 days later looking forward to him returning to work soon.

Kirk had some good comments tonight, "Do you stop living life? Do you stop crossing the street for fear that you'll get hit by a car?"

We both firmly believe that when it is your time to go, it is your time to go. Whether you are in a sinking ship or sitting in your recliner watching reruns of Frasier, when Heavenly Father needs you home, you are going.

There has to be a happy medium here. We will find it and figure out what is right for us. In the meantime, Shamika is resting peacefully with a nice cover draped over her and the battery tender keeping the home fires burning;)



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Miracles All Around

It's been a few days since the last post and tonight I find I have a few minutes to give a little update.

It is day 45 since the Adventure began.

Actually, since OUR Adventure began.

We have had perma-grins on our faces since last Wednesday when we received the most beautiful news that Kirk would be released for light-duty on September 10th and an anticipated full release on January 14th of next year. It truly is a miracle.

I was visiting with a lovely friend I have met through work today and relating the details of Our Adventure and the miracles we have been blessed with. As we talked about attitudes and trials and lessons learned, a very powerful thought came to my mind: We witness miracles everyday but only seem to openly recognize them when in a crisis situation. Why is that?

I want to change that in my life. I want to be openly grateful for everything. For good times and bad. For busy days and restful evenings. For love, family, friends and even for friendships that have ended. I want to recognize the miracle of forgiveness, of healing and of the atonement. I want to be aware of the miracle of life, including my own. Every breath is a miracle. I need to make the most of even every breath.

Unfortunately, we get so caught up in "life" that we miss the miracles in every moment. How did we get here? And is there a map to get back?

I've decided I will set a specific time aside each day to focus on the every day miracles, vocalize them, write them down. They will eventually become the way I look at life and the things I focus on. It's my little way of taking some of that control back in my life. (A shout out to my fellow control freaks;))

So today, I would like to tell you about a couple of miracles in my day....
1. It is a miracle that I have not killed Kirk through my medication mis-management as he found an error in my preparation of pills for him today. Just last night, while filling all of the meds I thought to myself, "Dang, I'm getting good at this."

2. It is a miracle that Kirk is able to notice my mis-management of pills and correct it and that he can now choose to manage his own medications. :)

3. Our girls, Bryn and Dani, and son-in-law Steven, are miracles. They continue to take care of things for us without even thinking about it. Dani said today, "That's what we do. We haven't done anything out of the ordinary." What she is forgetting is that every minute she or Steven or Bryn spends taking care of things for us is a minute of their time they are not taking care of their own things. We are grateful.

4. Our family and friends are miracles. They have been there for every thing we need and more. We honestly don't know how we will repay them. It will take a few more miracles.....but we believe in miracles.

Love to you all!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

My Gladiator

Day 27. It's been a good day. Wait...every day is a good day. Yes, some are better than others, but they are all good. He gets a little bit better every day. His pain still fluctuates and he is going a little stir-crazy but that is all to be expected.

I got home from work this afternoon and Kirk and Bryn were watching a movie called Gladiator.


Not sure if any of you have seen it, it's pretty violent, not my type of movie at all. However, watching Maximus, the main guy (wish I could tell you the actor's name, but, I'm not really a movie person), as he battled in the Coliseum wearing his armor, I saw Kirk. Powerful, strong, determined, focused, handsome. If Maximus had a choice, I think he would have chosen digital camo for his armor too;).



Kirk and I have been married for more than 25 years, blissful years. Kirk says it's 23 plus two years. I will agree that every single moment hasn't been perfect. There have been some disagreements here and there but I do not think they add up to two years. Besides, he went to school in Springville and I am not entirely sure that his mathematic skills are what they should be (sorry Red Devil friends).

Some of our highlights: Dani, Bryn, Steven, Maizy, Sadie, Mr. Bunny, Nikita, Oliver, Laska, Ebeneezer, Jasper, Spike 1 and Spike 2, Hitler the cat, Jazz, Crazy, Buddy, Gidget, Macaroni, several fish, Tweety, Makai, The Non'ts, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Family, 9 different moves, mostly on a national holiday, Bertelsen parties, camping, 4 wheeling, at least 27 different vehicles, countless motorcycles, sleep overs in our room, firetrucks, police cars, boating, Christmas Eve jammies, jumping on the trampoline, stick ponies, birthday surprises, laughing, crying, laughing some more.

I have a perma-grin right now just thinking about the girls at different times in their lives. They both have such a strong bond with Kirk, and with me, but they are definitely their "daddy's girls". They have pony-tailed his hair (when he had some), painted his nails and played lego for hours on the floor. He has taught them to ride a bike, drive a four-wheeler, drive a car, even fix a rear differential on a 66 Chevy truck. They have gone boating, camping, riding and shooting with their dad. He has given one "away" only to gain a son and friend. He has guided, grounded and given so much to these two. And they continue to give back. Don't you love it when kids learn good things from you? He is their hero, and mine. He is our Gladiator

Looking back on this list of beautiful moments in the last quarter of a century has altered my description of our life together. Yes, they have been blissful, but maybe Kirk is a little closer on the accuracy of it all. It is 23 years plus 2 years of a little bit better every day.






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rare

I am having one of the most relaxing evenings I have had in almost a month. Today is day 26 of the adventure. Kirk is drifting in and out of sleep. I know this because his body twitches, then he snores very softly and it grows louder and LOUDER until it wakes him up. Then we start all over again. It is a beautiful sight and sound. How glad I am that I can hear him and see him.

The kids came over tonight, after being here most of the day, and cooked a delicious dinner of BBQ pork roast, grilled veggies and toasted garlic bread. Kirk had seconds! So, so rare anymore. Okay, most of us had seconds! It was THAT good! Thank you so much Steven, Dani and Bryn!


Kirk had his last therapy visit today. He will start again when he gets to stand without the turtle shell, a couple of months away from now. I just want to thank Brad Bennett for being a fabulous Physical Therapist, enduring our dogs and being such an encouragement to Kirk. He has taken the time to not only do his job but to get to know us. What a rarity in our society. When he arrived today Buddy started squeaking in happiness. That is also rare.




In fact.....much of what we have experienced in the last 26 days would be considered rare. My ADD brain has started pinging around on rare things and I thought of perfect scores in the Olympics, winning the lottery and even diamonds.

How do these things apply to our adventure? Easy....we are going for that rare, perfect score. Having Kirk here, is even better than winning the lottery (I think;)). And a diamond, the hardest substance known to man, starts out as a lump of coal and with incredible amounts of pressure and heat it becomes one of the most sought after, beautiful treasures.

As we continue through our adventure there is sure to be pressure-a-plenty and enough heat to make us boil but it will end up beautiful. We will become better, we will be stronger and we will shine!

Love to you all!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I Need A Turtle Not A Hare

Whew...I am amazed at just how quickly time flies when you are having fun:)



I wasn't able to post, again, yesterday due to a crazy day filled with work and Kirk. I don't know that I ever truly realized how a caregiver, especially one with a full-time job and lots of help and support, got to the end of the day but not the end of the work.

From the outside looking in one would think it could be done. On the inside, I am wishing for three or four more hours in a day. What would I do with those extra hours? I am not really sure, probably whatever needed my attention at that moment. My ideal thought would be to get some more sleep:) Instead, I am vacuuming at 6:30 in the morning, dusting at 10:30 PM, laundry even later, worrying, loading the dishwasher, giving back and foot massages to help alleviate pain, worrying some more, going to work, chasing down prescriptions, having them filled, picking them up, and I just realized I did not shower today.....or yesterday for that fact. In my spare time I sleep and blog;)

Kirk is doing well, physically. He continues to defy all expectations of healing, which can be good and bad. Good, because he is making such huge improvements almost daily. Bad, because he pays for escalating his efforts with bouts of increased pain, especially through the night and in the morning.

I saw Dr. Paul Gardner yesterday and as soon as he saw me he asked, "How's our guy?" I told him that Kirk is doing well, working hard and had even walked a mile in one walk. He looked concerned and said, "Tell him to slow down." When I got home from work I told Kirk about the conversation. I was unprepared for the reaction from Kirk. He was deflated. All of his hard work, physical improvement and positive attitude had not impressed Dr. Gardner. Yes, he is healing so rapidly but, as Dr. Gardner told us from the beginning, "This is a marathon, not a sprint."

Prior to the beginning of our adventure, about 5 months, to be exact, Kirk started exercising. This is of great importance to our situation as his exercise regimen consisted of every six months, one day prior to the physical test he had to pass in order to continue employment as a Public Safety Officer in Orem, he would go to the nearest sporting supply store and ask the shoe specialist "Show me your fastest shoes." Without fail, the barely 16 year old "specialist" would point to a pair and Kirk would get his size and head home. No other preparations for this very important test ever occurred. He never failed the test, sometimes even improved his scores. Many of his Brethren considered him a freak of nature. No exercise outside of your normal daily routine and you make improvement? Who does that?

Back to the change Kirk made five months ago......all of a sudden he had the inspiration to start walking. He didn't start small, which may surprise a few of you. Nope. He was doing between 2-4 miles each day in the beginning, increasing almost daily to sometimes as much as 12 miles in a day. He lost 30 pounds before the crash, 10 more since then. As we look back we see the hand of Heavenly Father guiding and inspiring us to make needed changes in our life to be in the best position possible for our current situation. Can you imagine what the outcome could have been with 30 more pounds landing on that vertebrae? Would that have severed his spinal cord? Would he even be here?

Needless to say, training for a marathon is totally outside of this man's understanding. I need to find a way to help him mentally prepare, to pace himself, to not get discouraged. The last two days have exhausted him.... and me.....mentally. Something else that we need to learn. Another challenge we are grateful for.

We have been given a miracle and we will not waste it!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Moments

Life is so amazing when you stand back, take a breath and focus on the precise moment you are in. How many times today have you focused on any one moment? Have there been moments today that should have been savored but in the bustle of life they passed by with hardly a thought? Let me share a couple of ours.......


Day 20. Date night. We decided to stay in tonight:) Glad we did or we would have missed some great company.

The first picture is of one of the many girls we claim as our own, Dani Brady, and her boys Jack and Nick. Dani has been in our life for about 15 years and has been one of our Dani's best friends. The dogs were so glad to have them here and the boys were totally mesmerized by Kirk and his "crash video".


This last picture is an older one of Jim and Danielle Carly and their adorable kids (L-R) Eli, Kate, Porter and Whitney. Jim is actually our cousin but we refer to him as a brother and the kids call them Aunt and Uncle when introducing them to anyone. Kirk and I look up to them (even though they are slightly younger, okay...and maybe shorter....) in so many ways and feel so blessed to have them in our lives.
Jim and Danielle came over tonight and Jim installed a remote control on the fan in the bedroom for Kirk. Something so simple for Jim but that will make such a difference for Kirk on a daily basis.
I hope you don't get tired of me telling you how utterly amazing our daughters are. I don't know that a day has passed in the last 20 that they have not been right here, wherever here is at the time, to support and care for Kirk and me. Dani and Bryn are the two best things that have ever happened to us.
We have blessings like this every day. Again, a small amount of time out of their lives makes such a difference in ours. I brought Chinese food home for our date night. Here's a picture of my fortune:



May you be just as blessed:)

Going For Gold

Kirk and I are sitting here with Bryn and Steven,watching the Women's Gymnastics competition. I must tell you that Steven was the most excited of all of us to watch this...he is fabulous at all sports (except women's gymnastics;) and loves to watch sporting events.

The competitors are absolutely amazing! They are so strong, disciplined, focused and talented.
Bryn

We just watched a girl from Russia on the uneven bars and as she circled around the top bar, using only her hands, Bryn announced that she was able to do this when she was in gymnastics (ages 6-8). Steven, with some doubt in his voice, questioned the validity of Bryn's statement to which she fervently responded, "I got a participation ribbon!" She then giggled and said that the ribbon meant that she wasn't really very good at it. She isn't exactly correct. She was good, naturally good, but her heart was not in it. And that's okay....when you are as talented as she is, at so many things, you have to pick and choose which hobbies will be a priority in your life.

It is the same scenario for adults. We find things we are interested in, spend our time, effort and resources and make it a priority in our life. Sometimes we get a participation ribbon. Sometimes we get the gold.



Riding motorcycles is where Kirk's heart is at. It is the culmination of adrenaline, skill and adventure. It is challenging both physically and mentally. It is has been a hobby of his for more than 30 years. It has changed his life, in more ways than one.


It is no surprise that the continuation of riding motorcycles has been a topic of conversation in our family. In the first few days after the adventure began Kirk told Steven and his nephews, "Don't sell your bikes. We're going to be back on those in no time." On day six he was rethinking things. Six days laying in bed with crazy amounts of pain can do that to a person who is so used to go-go-going.

Day 17 and the topic has been brought up again. Should he sell the bike, or both bikes? What would the consequences be if there was another crash? Riding has brought so much joy to his life and the answers will surely take some time. Kirk says, "The decision has already been made in my mind, it is just getting my heart to go along with it."

We had our first "outing" today in Kirk's beloved Rover. He was delighted to get out, even if it was to a doctor's appointment. About ten minutes into the ride he looked at me and said, "Riding in a car is not as much fun as I thought it would be." I can't imagine that reclining in the passenger seat with a back brace on and traveling on a not-so-smooth road would be enticing for many.

Dr. Karl Francis was our "approach surgeon" meaning he opened Kirk up and got everything out of the way for Dr. Paul Gardner to be able to work on Kirk's spine. Our appointment today was just to check his surgery site and make sure there was no problem or infection. We were able to get in quickly and Dr. Francis was there before Kirk could even lay down. Everything looked great!

Our "fun" outing exhausted Kirk but he was so happy to have his friend Ralph bring him some lunch and hang out for the afternoon. What would we do without our family and friends?
They have truly carried us through each day with their love and support.

We retire tonight, full of gratitude and appreciation. Lots to think about and lots more to be thankful for. One thing I know for sure is that we won't settle for a participation ribbon when it comes to our future. We will definitely be going for the gold.







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We Owe You

16 days into the adventure and we continue to have so much support through visits, messages, phone calls, food and service. As we sit together each night and talk about the events of the day, our conversation always turns to our gratitude to each and every person who has taken time out of their lives to help in some way. The same question keeps coming up..... how do we ever thank everyone?

One of the first times this question was vocalized was in the hospital the day after Kirk's surgery. Dr. Gardner had stopped in to check on Kirk, delighted us with his humor and humbled us with his knowledge and skill. He left the room and Kirk said, "How do we ever thank him?"

This amazing man has given Kirk mobility, hope and a quality of life that exceeds our expectations every day. He has given me my sweetheart for whatever amount of time Heavenly Father deems is "enough". He has given Dani and Bryn "Daddy Daughter Dates" and opportunities to share their lives and love with him. He has given favorite son-in-law, Steven, inspiration to search out and find a new hobby they can share together. He has given his parents more time to see their "baby" continue to grow, be successful and meet challenges head on.

During our daily reflections Kirk said, "People go to medical school every day with the goal of having that one experience that makes a difference. That one surgery that changes someone's life. I was that one." He was...and is...that miracle. That is the way we see it. Dr. Gardner seems to humbly take it in stride, stating that someone "was looking out for Kirk".

Dr. Gardner is just one of the many we owe a debt of gratitude to. I am afraid to start naming every individual that we love and appreciate for fear that I would miss someone....my thoughts are still running 90 miles a minute....and there are SOOOO many.

Kirk has a great saying that always makes me giggle.... "I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it." We are going to owe a LOT of people. And we plan on working that debt off for the rest of our lives.
Love to you all!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

BEST Day EVER!

In celebration of the two week mark...day 14...Kirk walked 14 blocks!!

When I asked Kirk what he wanted to say on the blog today he said, "This has been the best day EVER!" You can see those words in his face, actions and of course, his attitude.


Our Physical Therapist came again today and told Kirk he can see continued improvement in him each time. That alone has got to make a guy feel great!!


Dad and Dave (nephew) installed a shower bar yesterday and I cannot tell you how much of a difference that made for BOTH of us! I must admit that our first home shower experience is now referred to as "The Shower Incident".

I thought I was completely prepared to assist Kirk in the shower. I had a shower chair in the tub, his shower gel, scrubby (like a loofa only much more manly), a towel to dry off with and clothes to get into afterwards.

The first sign of a problem came as he sat down on the shower chair. I had not considered that it was on the lowest setting possible and was so low that Kirk immediately said, "Oh crap...this is low!" I tried to reassure him that everything was okay and, since we only have a 20 minute time frame for him to be sitting and/or standing, we should get him washed up and I would be able to assist him out of the shower.

By the time we finished with the shower Kirk was uncontrollably shivering(He generally keeps it so cold in our house that you could hang a side of beef!) I grabbed another towel and tried to get him covered and dry. He tried to stand up but did not have the strength. He said, "This is not good." As a police Officer/Firefighter/Paramedic, Kirk has had the opportunity of rescuing many citizens who, for one reason or another, are stuck somewhere in the bathroom, usually without clothing. I can't imagine that his mind did not consider himself on the other side of the rescue.

I immediately thought of the Caregiver Support Groups and classes that I have instructed and went into action. I placed one foot in the tub, between his legs, one outside of the tub, squatted lower and had him use me as his support to stand. He calls it a "Fireman Lift" I call it miraculous! We got him out, dressed and back into bed. It was so hard to get his body to calm back down and to get his pain under control but he kept saying, "I'm so glad I can feel my legs. I'm so glad I can feel my legs," I love how he can put life into perspective so quickly.

He slept so good. I would like to say my preparations helped but I'm afraid it was my lack of preparations:/ Either way....we worked through it together and all is well. That's the way you get through anything...together. I am so glad we are on this adventure together.....it would be so lonely without him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Why?

   In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages were based on her studies of the feelings of terminally ill patients, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one, a break-up or job loss, even  an accident.  The stages are as follows:

1. Denial...."This can't be happening to me."

2. Anger...."Why is this happening to me? Who is to blame?"

3. Bargaining.... "Make this not happen and in return I will _______."

4. Depression...."I am so sad I cannot do anything."

5. Acceptance....."I am at peace with what has happened."

   Not everyone goes through every stage and they don't necessarily come in this order.

   When Kirk had his accident, and I really want to call it something else, something that was meant to be, not something that randomly happened without a purpose, he arrived in ICU sandwiched between two other motorcycle accidents. One in the room to the left. The other in the room to the right.  One of the other victims was also a firefighter.  All three were in critical condition.  One was transferred to a specialty hospital and is slowly showing signs of recovery.  One passed away.  Kirk continues to stun the doctors, therapists and nursing staff as he goes above and beyond all expectations of healing.

 Why?

  

  That is my question of the day.  Why did this happen? Why is Kirk healing so quickly? Why didn't the others do as well? Don't get me wrong....I am not angry, at least I don't think I am. But I am searching for that seemingly elusive answer. Why?
   Kenny, one of our favorite nephews, stopped in one night at the hospital.  We had a great conversation and while discussing the events of the last few days Kenny said, "It will sure be interesting when we find out why things happened in our life."  Kirk and I agree.  We may not have the answers today, or tomorrow or even 30 years from now.  What we do know is that there is a purpose. There is an opportunity for growth. Everything is connected, most likely in ways we cannot imagine. 
   Will the question ever be answered?  Maybe. Maybe not. The answer might be right in front of us and we cannot see the forest because of the trees.  One thing I know for sure is we won't stop looking.

Count Your Blessings...Name Them One By One

13 Blessings on the 13th Day ( In no particular order).
1- Kirk can feel his legs. Even though they hurt, he can feel them.
2- Kirk's Physical Therapist noted that Kirk's strength has greatly improved since Tuesday.
3- Bryn not only hung out for a while today but was also able to pick up the new prescription so I could go to work on time.
4- Kirk can move his feet.
5- Pete Robinson did not bring any alternative weapons to play today.
6- Dani got to hang out, watch a movie and visit for the afternoon.
7- Kirk has had 3 days in a row to hang out with Dad.
8- Jake Ervin brought Thai Drift Thursday Lunch special of Masaman.
9- Chris and Roger Pyne brought such an amazing dinner!
10- Keith Harrison, a long-time fire brother, came to visit and walk.
11- Nancy Athay and D'Anne Blackburn formed the first ever 21st Ward Cheering Squad as Kirk made his way down the street. No stunts were involved but we are looking forward to tomorrow!
12- A special delivery of chocolate chip cookies on a highly prized "bird plate" was hand baked and delivered by Jim and Danielle Carly.
13- Rick, Lori and Cole came by and also enjoyed the blessings of our wonderful dinner.
14- Old neighbors (Dave and Katrina Harlan, Tom Nielsen, John Dickinson) and new neighbors (Kyle Mang) took time out of their day to stop in and brighten our day.
Yes, that was 14. It is quite possible that we could continue counting our blessings but then you would probably keep reading ours instead of counting your own:)
Love to you all!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Climb....

   Well, here we are....less than 24 hours after a surgery that took almost nine hours to repair the 12th thoracic vertabrea in Kirk's back.
   Dr. Gardner is either a magician, or just freaking amazing!  Everything went as well as could be expected during surgery and Dr. Gardner was very optimistic.  The majority of the Bertelsen family...more than 20 of them, sat together in the surgical waiting room anticipating a five hour surgery.  What relief we all felt as Dr. Gardner came out and sat down next to me with a very pleasant look on his face.  He made small talk for a bit but must have sensed our anxiety and finally gave us the glorious news.
   Kirk was measured on Saturday night by Ross from Northwest Prosthetic's for an"turtle shell" brace that he will wear for a while, helping everything stay straight and still so he can heal.  Wouldn't you know that when given a choice in the pattern he would like on it, he chose digital camo. I hope we don't lose him;)

   Ross came in this afternoon with the new brace and put it on Kirk. The therapy team was called in and they went to work getting Kirk to sit up.  It was very difficult for him and once he got to a sitting position he had to stay there for about 15 minutes just to let the lightheadedness go away.  Then Kirk said to the therapist, "Should we see if I can stand?" They helped him to a standing position.  Kirk thought he might pass out but he wanted to stand there, and he did for a few more minutes.  This may shock some of you, but Kirk said, "Should we see if I can walk?" I am not sure if the therapists have had such a willing and persistent patient but they were happy to oblige.  Kirk was able to walk about 10 steps outside of his room, with a therapist on each side, before he was completely worn out.

   In the last 48 hours the blessings have poured in. Kirk has had more than 100 visitors, phone calls, texts and messages on facebook.  The nurses have had to stop the visitors for a while so he can just have a rest.  I told Kirk I was worried that he wasn't getting enough rest and he insisted on seeing his Orem City Brothers because they make his day go so much better and faster.
   I don't know what I would do without our family, their strength and love have truly buoyed us up.  My girls have been so incredible, strong, and even graceful in their approach with everyone even though their emotions are running high.  They are so hopeful, as we are all, that their hero will heal.
   He will.  You know it and I know it.
   This is the beginning of our climb to the top of an amazing mountain.  We will do this together, united as family and friends and with the help of our Father in Heaven....all things are possible.