Sharing

It is day 32 and I would first like to apologize for no post yesterday. I asked Kirk last night what he would like to talk about on the blog and he said he felt like it was "a non-blog worthy day." So I put the Ipad away and we enjoyed a quiet evening together. It was a nice break after a long day.




Interestingly enough, both Dani and Bryn were here tonight for dinner and I asked them and Kirk what we should talk about on the blog tonight. They each rattled off some thoughts but followed them up with "We've talked about all of those things before. Life is getting back to normal and people aren't going to keep reading the blog."
I disagree.
And....in our family.....whatever Mom says, goes. Okay, maybe not, but it was worth a try;)
Just for the record.....I still disagree.
We have received countless comments, through email, facebook, the blog and personal conversations, about our Adventure and the positive way we are facing it. While we believe there is no other way to handle this situation, we are finding that this attitude is unique in society. I hope we can help others see a better way through sharing our experience.




We have some wonderful friends at the Payson Senior Center and love listening to their stories about life and learning. Through my work with Freedom Home Health and Hospice and other healthcare companies, I have been hanging out with these wonderful people for more than seven lucky years and have brought Kirk along with me to some of the activities I've attended. Not surprisingly, everyone loved him the moment they met him. He just has a gift for getting along with anyone. We have enjoyed going to different restaurants, cooking dutch oven dinners for them and even taking pictures of them at the annual Christmas party. Our lives have truly been blessed by our association and friendship with them.
Tammy Evans is the Assistant Director of the center and I will never forget a lesson she taught me one day. She had me hold a cup of water in my hand, arm stretched out, and she asked me how much I thought it weighed. I told her eight ounces. She asked me to continue to hold it there while she kept talking to me. After about 30 seconds she asked me again how much I thought it weighed. I told her I thought it still weighed eight ounces. She continued to talk for a couple of minutes while I held the cup out. She asked again, "How much does that weigh?" It actually felt heavier. I knew it hadn't changed, but my arm was getting tired and that made it feel heavier.
The lesson here? Holding that cup of water out seemed pretty easy at first but not ever having a break, either setting the cup down or even drinking some of the water, tired out my arm. This can be applied to any difficulties in life. If you don't set the burden, the worry, the stress down for a while, it will wear you out. It will seem to be much more than it actually is and much harder to deal with.
Having someone to share the Adventure with, Kirk, the girls, Our family and friends has helped lighten the load. Whether it is a phone call from Cheryl, a meal from the neighbors, a visit from a friend, Steven mowing the lawn, Dani bringing our granddog Hank up to visit or Bryn running our errands.....this list could go on and on..... Each and every effort helps lighten the load, gives a break to Kirk or me and brings so many blessings to our life.
I don't know if I ever realized how important these things can be for those on the receiving end. It is always easier to give than to receive and I'll bet that everyone reading this would be the first person volunteering to help someone in need. But, just as Karen Murray, Relief Society president in our marvelous Mapleton 21st ward told me, "Don't take the blessing of giving away from others."
Thank you to every one who has joined us on the Adventure. We will continue to share, maybe not everyday, but as often as we can, and we hope it can help someone in their life. We love you!!
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My Gladiator

Day 27. It's been a good day. Wait...every day is a good day. Yes, some are better than others, but they are all good. He gets a little bit better every day. His pain still fluctuates and he is going a little stir-crazy but that is all to be expected.

I got home from work this afternoon and Kirk and Bryn were watching a movie called Gladiator.


Not sure if any of you have seen it, it's pretty violent, not my type of movie at all. However, watching Maximus, the main guy (wish I could tell you the actor's name, but, I'm not really a movie person), as he battled in the Coliseum wearing his armor, I saw Kirk. Powerful, strong, determined, focused, handsome. If Maximus had a choice, I think he would have chosen digital camo for his armor too;).



Kirk and I have been married for more than 25 years, blissful years. Kirk says it's 23 plus two years. I will agree that every single moment hasn't been perfect. There have been some disagreements here and there but I do not think they add up to two years. Besides, he went to school in Springville and I am not entirely sure that his mathematic skills are what they should be (sorry Red Devil friends).

Some of our highlights: Dani, Bryn, Steven, Maizy, Sadie, Mr. Bunny, Nikita, Oliver, Laska, Ebeneezer, Jasper, Spike 1 and Spike 2, Hitler the cat, Jazz, Crazy, Buddy, Gidget, Macaroni, several fish, Tweety, Makai, The Non'ts, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Family, 9 different moves, mostly on a national holiday, Bertelsen parties, camping, 4 wheeling, at least 27 different vehicles, countless motorcycles, sleep overs in our room, firetrucks, police cars, boating, Christmas Eve jammies, jumping on the trampoline, stick ponies, birthday surprises, laughing, crying, laughing some more.

I have a perma-grin right now just thinking about the girls at different times in their lives. They both have such a strong bond with Kirk, and with me, but they are definitely their "daddy's girls". They have pony-tailed his hair (when he had some), painted his nails and played lego for hours on the floor. He has taught them to ride a bike, drive a four-wheeler, drive a car, even fix a rear differential on a 66 Chevy truck. They have gone boating, camping, riding and shooting with their dad. He has given one "away" only to gain a son and friend. He has guided, grounded and given so much to these two. And they continue to give back. Don't you love it when kids learn good things from you? He is their hero, and mine. He is our Gladiator

Looking back on this list of beautiful moments in the last quarter of a century has altered my description of our life together. Yes, they have been blissful, but maybe Kirk is a little closer on the accuracy of it all. It is 23 years plus 2 years of a little bit better every day.






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Rare

I am having one of the most relaxing evenings I have had in almost a month. Today is day 26 of the adventure. Kirk is drifting in and out of sleep. I know this because his body twitches, then he snores very softly and it grows louder and LOUDER until it wakes him up. Then we start all over again. It is a beautiful sight and sound. How glad I am that I can hear him and see him.

The kids came over tonight, after being here most of the day, and cooked a delicious dinner of BBQ pork roast, grilled veggies and toasted garlic bread. Kirk had seconds! So, so rare anymore. Okay, most of us had seconds! It was THAT good! Thank you so much Steven, Dani and Bryn!


Kirk had his last therapy visit today. He will start again when he gets to stand without the turtle shell, a couple of months away from now. I just want to thank Brad Bennett for being a fabulous Physical Therapist, enduring our dogs and being such an encouragement to Kirk. He has taken the time to not only do his job but to get to know us. What a rarity in our society. When he arrived today Buddy started squeaking in happiness. That is also rare.




In fact.....much of what we have experienced in the last 26 days would be considered rare. My ADD brain has started pinging around on rare things and I thought of perfect scores in the Olympics, winning the lottery and even diamonds.

How do these things apply to our adventure? Easy....we are going for that rare, perfect score. Having Kirk here, is even better than winning the lottery (I think;)). And a diamond, the hardest substance known to man, starts out as a lump of coal and with incredible amounts of pressure and heat it becomes one of the most sought after, beautiful treasures.

As we continue through our adventure there is sure to be pressure-a-plenty and enough heat to make us boil but it will end up beautiful. We will become better, we will be stronger and we will shine!

Love to you all!
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Choices

We have been blessed with two thoughtful, compassionate, giving daughters and, as a bonus, we have also acquired one amazing son-in-law. As many in the family have said, Dani sure set the bar high when she agreed to marry Steven. Some day, we fully expect to have another son-in-law that will challenge Steven's "favorite Son-In-Law" status;).







Throughout Dani and Bryn's lives we have tried to instill the very simple fact that "Attitude is Everything". It is really that easy.

25 days since the adventure began and almost every visitor to our home, on the phone, in comments on the blog and facebook, talks about how positive we have been through this whole journey. What we hope everyone realizes is that it is a choice, a very conscious effort, to make the best of everything.

It can be so easy to be consumed by the negativity in everyday life. How many times have you checked facebook to see what was going on with your friends to find a bunch of comments relaying to the world how bad their day was, how unhappy they are or how much they hate their job? It is not only consuming, it is contagious!!

In EVERY situation in life, you have two choices: You can make the best of it or you can make the worst of it. It's your choice.

This philosophy is the core of our beliefs and guides the actions in our lives. It also gives great comfort to control freaks, such as myself. No matter what the situation, no matter what someone else says or does to hurt you, you can CHOOSE to make the best of it by controlling YOUR thoughts, words and actions and only sharing the positive ones.

Just so you know, our adventure is no cake walk. It is probably more emotionally draining than anything else. Kirk made the comment to one of our neighbors today that he used to think it would be great if all he had to do was lay in bed and watch TV. After 25 days in bed and only 20 minutes of standing/sitting/walking at a time, he has changed his mind. He has been in pain, achy, frustrated, tired and even helpless at times. Would you know it if you stopped by or called? Probably not. Why? He has chosen to make the best of it and that is what he will share.

We both want to thank you for the continued prayers for Kirk, his healing and our family. Thank you for the service you continue to give and the thoughtful words you share. This all helps us to persevere, to make the best of the adventure and to learn the most that we can so that some day we can help lighten someone else's load.
Love to you all!!


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Going For Gold

Kirk and I are sitting here with Bryn and Steven,watching the Women's Gymnastics competition. I must tell you that Steven was the most excited of all of us to watch this...he is fabulous at all sports (except women's gymnastics;) and loves to watch sporting events.

The competitors are absolutely amazing! They are so strong, disciplined, focused and talented.
Bryn

We just watched a girl from Russia on the uneven bars and as she circled around the top bar, using only her hands, Bryn announced that she was able to do this when she was in gymnastics (ages 6-8). Steven, with some doubt in his voice, questioned the validity of Bryn's statement to which she fervently responded, "I got a participation ribbon!" She then giggled and said that the ribbon meant that she wasn't really very good at it. She isn't exactly correct. She was good, naturally good, but her heart was not in it. And that's okay....when you are as talented as she is, at so many things, you have to pick and choose which hobbies will be a priority in your life.

It is the same scenario for adults. We find things we are interested in, spend our time, effort and resources and make it a priority in our life. Sometimes we get a participation ribbon. Sometimes we get the gold.



Riding motorcycles is where Kirk's heart is at. It is the culmination of adrenaline, skill and adventure. It is challenging both physically and mentally. It is has been a hobby of his for more than 30 years. It has changed his life, in more ways than one.


It is no surprise that the continuation of riding motorcycles has been a topic of conversation in our family. In the first few days after the adventure began Kirk told Steven and his nephews, "Don't sell your bikes. We're going to be back on those in no time." On day six he was rethinking things. Six days laying in bed with crazy amounts of pain can do that to a person who is so used to go-go-going.

Day 17 and the topic has been brought up again. Should he sell the bike, or both bikes? What would the consequences be if there was another crash? Riding has brought so much joy to his life and the answers will surely take some time. Kirk says, "The decision has already been made in my mind, it is just getting my heart to go along with it."

We had our first "outing" today in Kirk's beloved Rover. He was delighted to get out, even if it was to a doctor's appointment. About ten minutes into the ride he looked at me and said, "Riding in a car is not as much fun as I thought it would be." I can't imagine that reclining in the passenger seat with a back brace on and traveling on a not-so-smooth road would be enticing for many.

Dr. Karl Francis was our "approach surgeon" meaning he opened Kirk up and got everything out of the way for Dr. Paul Gardner to be able to work on Kirk's spine. Our appointment today was just to check his surgery site and make sure there was no problem or infection. We were able to get in quickly and Dr. Francis was there before Kirk could even lay down. Everything looked great!

Our "fun" outing exhausted Kirk but he was so happy to have his friend Ralph bring him some lunch and hang out for the afternoon. What would we do without our family and friends?
They have truly carried us through each day with their love and support.

We retire tonight, full of gratitude and appreciation. Lots to think about and lots more to be thankful for. One thing I know for sure is that we won't settle for a participation ribbon when it comes to our future. We will definitely be going for the gold.







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