Today is the 33rd day of our Adventure, our journey of learning and growing.
Kirk continues to push the limits, reaching as far as he can to return to life as we knew it as quick as he can. He is going stir-crazy not being able to get going and having to spend so much time in bed. Dad talked to him the other day about finding some new hobbies, ones that did not risk life and limb. "Maybe gardening or yard work." Dad offered. Kirk chuckled and said, "Dad, I hate yard work. And besides, this is the best my yard has looked because everyone else is taking care of it!" By this time they were both laughing. Two of my favorite men:)
Today marks one year since my uncle, Roger Carly, passed away. While I miss him and think of him daily, I am also grateful to feel his presence in our life. So much has changed in the last 365 days and I am keenly aware that none of it is in my hands. It never was. This is not just an admission, a baring of my control freak soul, it is an embrace of a new normal.
Our new normal is like looking through the glass of a shattered windshield. You can see the light, just not as clearly as you would like. Some things are distorted, maybe because we are not prepared to see them clearly yet. It's a process.
Part of the process finds me praying....a lot. I like to think that I used to pray regularly. I had a prayer in my heart, and thanked Heavenly Father for the things I felt that we were blessed with. Prayers, especially those filled with thanksgiving, seem so much more powerful now. I know Heavenly Father hasn't changed anything, which leaves only one conclusion....we have changed.
Prayer has changed our life as much as the Adventure has. In fact, the two seem inseparable. The Adventure began and we prayed. As soon as I hung up the phone with Steven telling me "Kirk's been in a motorcycle crash and they life flighted him to Utah Valley.....but he is okay.", I fell to my knees and prayed that he really was okay. As soon as family could be gathered at the hospital many more prayers were uttered and as he was readied for an MRI his dad and brother Rick gave him a priesthood blessing. As I watched family, doctors, co-workers and friends talk to him in those first few hours, I prayed that everything would go well. Within the first 24 hours the heavens were flooded with prayers on Kirk's behalf. We prayed for him. We prayed for the surgeons and staff. We prayed that he would not be paralyzed, that he would not have deficits, that we would all be able to understand and embrace our future. We prayed for the biggest things and the smallest things.
Our prayers have only increased. They have actually become continual. Why? Because we could not do this without Divine Guidance. Not praying for help but expecting that everything will go well is like trying to drive cross country without a map. Sure, there might be some road signs you can follow but without the guidance from a perfect source chances are you are going to get lost.
In our prayer together last night I asked Heavenly Father for a specific blessing. Today, it is like the floodgates opened....maybe just part way but open nonetheless. My first thought was to thank Heavenly Father. As I pulled over in my car and offered a prayer of thanksgiving I thought about how miraculous prayer is. In an instant I heard, "All you had to do was ask." That simple. All I had to do was ask.
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