Needy

Day 59 of Our Adventure. Less than 12 hours away from Kirk's big return to work tomorrow morning.
There are mixed feelings at this juncture. Kind of like having your youngest child graduate from high school and move out to pursue their dreams. The end of one adventure and the beginning of another.
We have carefully chosen our activities in the last few days, trying to anticipate and manage pain levels. Kirk had planned to go have lunch with the Brethren yesterday but decided it would be better to rest. Sometimes you have to rearrange your plans to fit your life.
I don't think I have had one clear, concise thought this whole weekend. I have tried to focus on the task at hand only to have it interrupted by thoughts of Kirk being at work. Examining my anxiety on this subject leaves me unable to name one thing that concerns me, just general uneasiness. I have been trying to put a name on it and I have finally decided I must just be needy.
Kirk and I joke about "neediness" a lot. Either of us can tell the other, at any time, "I think I am feeling needy" and we immediately turn our attention to each other. This phrase has rarely been uttered by Kirk and when it is utilized, it is usually me interrupting a string of motorcycle rides interspersed with mandatory "work" days. After all, someone has to pay for these rides.


One would think that having their spouse home for almost two months, unable to bend over to pick up their socks, load the dishwasher or do the laundry, would be quite enough time spent together. I don't really see it that way. I have actually learned that there is so much more that I need from him that his ability to trim his own toenails.
I have been emotionally exhausted this weekend, mostly filled with my neediness thoughts, I guess. Bottom line.....I need this man. I need him to be happy and fulfilled. I need him to need me at his side. I need his smile, his laughter and his hand to hold. I need him to protect me, strengthen me and tell me when I am getting too needy:)
Turns out that Heavenly Father knows these things too. That is why he has blessed me with this amazing man. It is also, quite possibly, the reason we have been blessed with Our Adventure. We are reminded every day how much we need each other in a world where everyone seems to be searching for solitude. I've got to tell you, life is so much better together than it could ever be alone.
Because I have one of those very odd brains I keep thinking of acronyms for the word NEED. Here are just a few for your giggling pleasure:
Never Ending Emotional Day
Now Entering Emotional Dump
Not Everyone Enjoys Dogs.....(where did this come from?)
New Experiences Emit Delirium
Yep. I am needy. I am okay with this.
Thank you for letting me vent. And Please, pray for my man that everything will go well tomorrow. I am sure it will, but everyone needs that little extra assurance that knowing their friends and family are praying for them brings.
Wait, that means you might be needy too.....just saying;)

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Balance

TGIF and it is day 39.

Unbelievable.

I think all of the excitement of Wednesday's good news has caught up with Kirk today. He is physically and emotionally spent. He met his goal and walked our three mile walk yesterday and is definitely paying for it today. It is a continual cycle in our lives lately......feel pretty good, push harder physically, spend the next 24-36 hours recuperating. No one said it was a good cycle. Just a cycle.

I can see how tempting it is to hurry up the healing. Kirk usually spends his day with power on full blast. It is rare to see him sit still for longer than an hour or so, unless it is football season. Wednesday's news was wonderful and harmful at the same time. Wonderful, because it gave us news that we didn't dare to expect. Harmful because it almost gives a false sense of "I'm good to go".

At the beginning of our Adventure, Dr. Gardner firmly told me that I would have to reign Kirk in. "This is a marathon, not a sprint." Convincing my adventure loving, super-action hero is another story. (I am open to suggestions on how to do this.)

Today was the first day that Kirk did not have someone here with him for the majority of the day. As much as he tries to let me and the girls know he is "fine" with being alone, he did admit it was a very long day. There is just so much TV one can watch before being disgusted with society or purchasing a very expensive item.

Kirk did have a visit from Mom and Dad, Rick and Lori and Springville High School friend, Mike Christensen. These are the the things that balance out the boredom and the pain.


Kirk and I watched one of our favorite shows tonight, American Pickers. Two guys, Frank and Mike, travel the country trying to find antiques and treasures that they can refurbish, resell or retain as their own. It's like a Deseret Industries, Garage Sale, Estate Sale Heaven. Okay...maybe just my kind of heaven.

On tonight's episode they found this old toy called a "balancing man". It was a small man standing on a tall platform holding a long rod with both of his hands. At either end of the rod was a weighted ball. My grandfather, Dan Carly, was a master craftsman and made many wooden toys and novelty items for family and friends. One of the items he made was a balancing man. I was always fascinated with that toy. It was almost impossible to knock him over because the load he carried was perfectly balanced. No matter what you did, he stayed atop that platform, rocking, wobbling, never falling.

There has definitely been a lot of rocking and wobbling in our lives since our Adventure began. We are trying to balance the load and not fall but it is not as easy as that toy made it look. I guess the best part is that we get another chance every morning to rebalance our load. Eventually, we will be immoveable, nothing will tip us over.

One of my friends, Brian Cole, posted a great quote on Facebook and it is precisely what I needed today.
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."
~Martha Washington

Cheerful. I like that. I am going to dig that balancing man out of storage and put it somewhere that it will remind us everyday that we need to find the balance in our Adventure.

Love to you all!
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Sharing

It is day 32 and I would first like to apologize for no post yesterday. I asked Kirk last night what he would like to talk about on the blog and he said he felt like it was "a non-blog worthy day." So I put the Ipad away and we enjoyed a quiet evening together. It was a nice break after a long day.




Interestingly enough, both Dani and Bryn were here tonight for dinner and I asked them and Kirk what we should talk about on the blog tonight. They each rattled off some thoughts but followed them up with "We've talked about all of those things before. Life is getting back to normal and people aren't going to keep reading the blog."
I disagree.
And....in our family.....whatever Mom says, goes. Okay, maybe not, but it was worth a try;)
Just for the record.....I still disagree.
We have received countless comments, through email, facebook, the blog and personal conversations, about our Adventure and the positive way we are facing it. While we believe there is no other way to handle this situation, we are finding that this attitude is unique in society. I hope we can help others see a better way through sharing our experience.




We have some wonderful friends at the Payson Senior Center and love listening to their stories about life and learning. Through my work with Freedom Home Health and Hospice and other healthcare companies, I have been hanging out with these wonderful people for more than seven lucky years and have brought Kirk along with me to some of the activities I've attended. Not surprisingly, everyone loved him the moment they met him. He just has a gift for getting along with anyone. We have enjoyed going to different restaurants, cooking dutch oven dinners for them and even taking pictures of them at the annual Christmas party. Our lives have truly been blessed by our association and friendship with them.
Tammy Evans is the Assistant Director of the center and I will never forget a lesson she taught me one day. She had me hold a cup of water in my hand, arm stretched out, and she asked me how much I thought it weighed. I told her eight ounces. She asked me to continue to hold it there while she kept talking to me. After about 30 seconds she asked me again how much I thought it weighed. I told her I thought it still weighed eight ounces. She continued to talk for a couple of minutes while I held the cup out. She asked again, "How much does that weigh?" It actually felt heavier. I knew it hadn't changed, but my arm was getting tired and that made it feel heavier.
The lesson here? Holding that cup of water out seemed pretty easy at first but not ever having a break, either setting the cup down or even drinking some of the water, tired out my arm. This can be applied to any difficulties in life. If you don't set the burden, the worry, the stress down for a while, it will wear you out. It will seem to be much more than it actually is and much harder to deal with.
Having someone to share the Adventure with, Kirk, the girls, Our family and friends has helped lighten the load. Whether it is a phone call from Cheryl, a meal from the neighbors, a visit from a friend, Steven mowing the lawn, Dani bringing our granddog Hank up to visit or Bryn running our errands.....this list could go on and on..... Each and every effort helps lighten the load, gives a break to Kirk or me and brings so many blessings to our life.
I don't know if I ever realized how important these things can be for those on the receiving end. It is always easier to give than to receive and I'll bet that everyone reading this would be the first person volunteering to help someone in need. But, just as Karen Murray, Relief Society president in our marvelous Mapleton 21st ward told me, "Don't take the blessing of giving away from others."
Thank you to every one who has joined us on the Adventure. We will continue to share, maybe not everyday, but as often as we can, and we hope it can help someone in their life. We love you!!
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Choices

We have been blessed with two thoughtful, compassionate, giving daughters and, as a bonus, we have also acquired one amazing son-in-law. As many in the family have said, Dani sure set the bar high when she agreed to marry Steven. Some day, we fully expect to have another son-in-law that will challenge Steven's "favorite Son-In-Law" status;).







Throughout Dani and Bryn's lives we have tried to instill the very simple fact that "Attitude is Everything". It is really that easy.

25 days since the adventure began and almost every visitor to our home, on the phone, in comments on the blog and facebook, talks about how positive we have been through this whole journey. What we hope everyone realizes is that it is a choice, a very conscious effort, to make the best of everything.

It can be so easy to be consumed by the negativity in everyday life. How many times have you checked facebook to see what was going on with your friends to find a bunch of comments relaying to the world how bad their day was, how unhappy they are or how much they hate their job? It is not only consuming, it is contagious!!

In EVERY situation in life, you have two choices: You can make the best of it or you can make the worst of it. It's your choice.

This philosophy is the core of our beliefs and guides the actions in our lives. It also gives great comfort to control freaks, such as myself. No matter what the situation, no matter what someone else says or does to hurt you, you can CHOOSE to make the best of it by controlling YOUR thoughts, words and actions and only sharing the positive ones.

Just so you know, our adventure is no cake walk. It is probably more emotionally draining than anything else. Kirk made the comment to one of our neighbors today that he used to think it would be great if all he had to do was lay in bed and watch TV. After 25 days in bed and only 20 minutes of standing/sitting/walking at a time, he has changed his mind. He has been in pain, achy, frustrated, tired and even helpless at times. Would you know it if you stopped by or called? Probably not. Why? He has chosen to make the best of it and that is what he will share.

We both want to thank you for the continued prayers for Kirk, his healing and our family. Thank you for the service you continue to give and the thoughtful words you share. This all helps us to persevere, to make the best of the adventure and to learn the most that we can so that some day we can help lighten someone else's load.
Love to you all!!


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The Other Side

How many times have you heard the scripture from Matthew 25:30 that states, "Verily I say unto you, that inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."? In the last 18 days I believe I have a much better understanding of the love our Savior has for us and how important it is for us to share that love through our service to others.

In responding to an email from the Relief Society President, Karen Murray, tonight this scripture kept coming to the forefront of my mind. She was asking how things were going and letting me know of meals she had scheduled for us and if there was anything else we needed.

Yes, there is one thing we still need....a way to thank everyone for the blessings they have brought to our family through their service.

Through our amazing Mapleton 21st Ward family, our immediate and extended family, our friends and co-workers/brethren/employers (Orem City Fire and Police, Freedom Home Health and Hospice), we have been the recipients of delicious meals, desserts, snacks, walking buddies, companionship, cleaning, visiting, medical equipment, phone calls, emails of encouragement and most importantly, prayers on our behalf.

When Kirk first came home I was confident I could handle everything. Karen and her husband Brian were one of our first visitors and she asked if the ward could provide meals. I was going to tell her we would be fine but she quickly insisted that I let the sisters have the opportunity to serve. I can tell you from personal experience that I ALWAYS receive more blessings when serving someone. I never imagined the blessings on the other side of that service.

Kirk and I were talking about what we are learning through our adventure and one of the first things he said was, "I am not going to avoid going to visit someone who has had surgery or an injury anymore. I always thought I would be bothering them." I can't tell you how many times I have thought the same thing. Being on the other side of this situation has helped us understand how important this can be for the healing person and their family.

I want to challenge everyone reading this to think about their family, friends and neighbors. Have any of them been ill, had surgery, been homebound for one reason or another? I want you to call them, stop by, send a card or take something to them in the next 24 hours. One person. One act of service. See how it changes YOUR life. Then we would like to have a little R&R, Return and Report. Let us know in your blog comments how this made you feel. Tell us how you feel to be on the giving side of service. When you are on the other side (the receiving end) you will have a better understanding of how important it is to let someone be on the giving side.

It is always so much easier to give than to receive but don't ever cheat someone out of their blessings when it is your turn to receive. It sounds so simple....and it really is. Try it!



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We Owe You

16 days into the adventure and we continue to have so much support through visits, messages, phone calls, food and service. As we sit together each night and talk about the events of the day, our conversation always turns to our gratitude to each and every person who has taken time out of their lives to help in some way. The same question keeps coming up..... how do we ever thank everyone?

One of the first times this question was vocalized was in the hospital the day after Kirk's surgery. Dr. Gardner had stopped in to check on Kirk, delighted us with his humor and humbled us with his knowledge and skill. He left the room and Kirk said, "How do we ever thank him?"

This amazing man has given Kirk mobility, hope and a quality of life that exceeds our expectations every day. He has given me my sweetheart for whatever amount of time Heavenly Father deems is "enough". He has given Dani and Bryn "Daddy Daughter Dates" and opportunities to share their lives and love with him. He has given favorite son-in-law, Steven, inspiration to search out and find a new hobby they can share together. He has given his parents more time to see their "baby" continue to grow, be successful and meet challenges head on.

During our daily reflections Kirk said, "People go to medical school every day with the goal of having that one experience that makes a difference. That one surgery that changes someone's life. I was that one." He was...and is...that miracle. That is the way we see it. Dr. Gardner seems to humbly take it in stride, stating that someone "was looking out for Kirk".

Dr. Gardner is just one of the many we owe a debt of gratitude to. I am afraid to start naming every individual that we love and appreciate for fear that I would miss someone....my thoughts are still running 90 miles a minute....and there are SOOOO many.

Kirk has a great saying that always makes me giggle.... "I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it." We are going to owe a LOT of people. And we plan on working that debt off for the rest of our lives.
Love to you all!



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Why?

   In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages were based on her studies of the feelings of terminally ill patients, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one, a break-up or job loss, even  an accident.  The stages are as follows:

1. Denial...."This can't be happening to me."

2. Anger...."Why is this happening to me? Who is to blame?"

3. Bargaining.... "Make this not happen and in return I will _______."

4. Depression...."I am so sad I cannot do anything."

5. Acceptance....."I am at peace with what has happened."

   Not everyone goes through every stage and they don't necessarily come in this order.

   When Kirk had his accident, and I really want to call it something else, something that was meant to be, not something that randomly happened without a purpose, he arrived in ICU sandwiched between two other motorcycle accidents. One in the room to the left. The other in the room to the right.  One of the other victims was also a firefighter.  All three were in critical condition.  One was transferred to a specialty hospital and is slowly showing signs of recovery.  One passed away.  Kirk continues to stun the doctors, therapists and nursing staff as he goes above and beyond all expectations of healing.

 Why?

  

  That is my question of the day.  Why did this happen? Why is Kirk healing so quickly? Why didn't the others do as well? Don't get me wrong....I am not angry, at least I don't think I am. But I am searching for that seemingly elusive answer. Why?
   Kenny, one of our favorite nephews, stopped in one night at the hospital.  We had a great conversation and while discussing the events of the last few days Kenny said, "It will sure be interesting when we find out why things happened in our life."  Kirk and I agree.  We may not have the answers today, or tomorrow or even 30 years from now.  What we do know is that there is a purpose. There is an opportunity for growth. Everything is connected, most likely in ways we cannot imagine. 
   Will the question ever be answered?  Maybe. Maybe not. The answer might be right in front of us and we cannot see the forest because of the trees.  One thing I know for sure is we won't stop looking.

Count Your Blessings...Name Them One By One

13 Blessings on the 13th Day ( In no particular order).
1- Kirk can feel his legs. Even though they hurt, he can feel them.
2- Kirk's Physical Therapist noted that Kirk's strength has greatly improved since Tuesday.
3- Bryn not only hung out for a while today but was also able to pick up the new prescription so I could go to work on time.
4- Kirk can move his feet.
5- Pete Robinson did not bring any alternative weapons to play today.
6- Dani got to hang out, watch a movie and visit for the afternoon.
7- Kirk has had 3 days in a row to hang out with Dad.
8- Jake Ervin brought Thai Drift Thursday Lunch special of Masaman.
9- Chris and Roger Pyne brought such an amazing dinner!
10- Keith Harrison, a long-time fire brother, came to visit and walk.
11- Nancy Athay and D'Anne Blackburn formed the first ever 21st Ward Cheering Squad as Kirk made his way down the street. No stunts were involved but we are looking forward to tomorrow!
12- A special delivery of chocolate chip cookies on a highly prized "bird plate" was hand baked and delivered by Jim and Danielle Carly.
13- Rick, Lori and Cole came by and also enjoyed the blessings of our wonderful dinner.
14- Old neighbors (Dave and Katrina Harlan, Tom Nielsen, John Dickinson) and new neighbors (Kyle Mang) took time out of their day to stop in and brighten our day.
Yes, that was 14. It is quite possible that we could continue counting our blessings but then you would probably keep reading ours instead of counting your own:)
Love to you all!
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One Step Forward.....

Here we are....day 12.

This is the first day Kirk was home without me. I'm thinking I am the one who suffered today. I can't tell you how hard it was to walk out the door this morning. I choked back the emotion, put on a smiley face and kissed him goodbye.

Kirk did so much physically yesterday that he paid for it today. In fact, for the last 10 days he has pushed the limits of his pain trying to be better, faster, stronger. (Remember the Six Million Dollar Man TV drama in the 80's? What would all of those upgrades cost now?) My mind keeps comparing his drive to get well faster to my drive (and most likely yours, too!) to do more, be more, accomplish more. In my unrelenting efforts of "more" am I really getting less? Less family time. Less spiritual time. Less time to really be better.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, said: "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." I am certain the phrase "instant gratification" had not even been uttered back then. What a great message.....slow down, everything will work out. A dear friend, Kevin McCarthy, wrote me the other day and said something very powerful.... "There are two things that are certain. 1- Heavenly Father has a plan. 2- We are all in it. Put these two thoughts together and we continue to learn and grow, and get better, faster, stronger;)

Pete Robinson hung out with Kirk from nine to noon and was kind enough to hang the white board on the bedroom door so communication for all of us is better. He also entertained Kirk, and insured a higher place of stature with the dogs, with his marshmallow guns. I am not sure I will allow Pete to hang out with Kirk again without a list of acceptable activities:)

One of Kirk's best friends is his dad. Every set of days off that Kirk has includes a day(or more) hanging out with his dad, taking care of projects, yard work or just visiting. One of the greatest blessings in our adventure is that the two of them get to hang out a bit more. Dad is always watching out for each of his kids, grand kids and even great-grandkids! He is, and always has been, a wonderful example to us. I used to pray that Kirk would turn out just like his dad...and he has...always helping out someone.


Dani, our oldest daughter, stopped in around three and watched Second Hand Lions with her dad. This is one of my favorite pictures of the two of them on Dani's wedding day. She has had a bond with dad since birth. How blessed are we to have such close relationships with our girls. I honestly don't know what we would do without them.

It was wonderful to come home to the best homemade Mac and cheese EVER! Thanks so much my sweet Darci Marie, you have no idea how much that helped.

One step forward....just one at a time.



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I Got Your Back

It has been a great day of learning, planning, re-planning and wonderful visits with family and friends. Kirk has been home for more than 24 hours and his entire appearance seems to have changed for all of us who have been with him.
Kirk looks like he has lost so much weight but Bryn brought the scales upstairs and he is only down 2 pounds since the adventure began. I was helping him get dressed and was completely stunned at how big his pants were on him. Returning from our walk he dropped his drawers without even undoing them. While some of us would love to claim this talent, I was not entirely impressed:)
It is very humbling to help your sweetheart get totally dressed. I've tried to picture my attitude or willingness to let someone do this much for me. Think about your perception of yourself, the bottom line, I hope nobody ever sees me like this situation..... Now imagine exposing that, literally, to the world. I'm already blushing. From the caregiver's point of view, I am thinking, "Let me do this for you." Kirk says it's horrible, probably the worst thing ever. "It's very humbling but also very reassuring that you have someone who will do this for you." he finished his very emotional response with, "It's wonderful."
Lori and Cole stopped by tonight. Mostly because they heard our favorite son-in-law, Steven, was mowing the lawn and they wanted to witness this for themselves as Steven pays someone to do his;) For the record, it looks beautiful! Dave Nielsen, one of our fabulous nephews, came over and removed a limb over the covered patio that has been making sounds similar to fingernails on a chalkboard. Just that phrase makes my hair stand up. Now, that branch didn't grow overnight. It has been working it's magical way to that annoying position for some time, we just never got around to trimming it.
Mom and Dad, Peg, Don and D'anne Blackburn, Pete Robinson, Karen and Brian Murray, the girls....hopefully I haven't missed anyone, all came by today, visited, helped with something, lightened the load. How grateful we are.
The picture at the beginning of this post was a t-shirt from Cole and Lor. It says "Hey man, I got your back."
We know. And we thank you!!
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Fear VS. Faith

   Day six was Fabulous with a capitol F! I got to stay with Kirk the whole day at the hospital.  Even to sit there while he tried to sleep made ME feel so much better!  They started the morning removing the epidural from his back...super cool to watch and I totally have pictures if anyone wants to see them;)  I also took pictures of the staples holding the surgical wound together in his back...also super cool.

   When they got Kirk up to walk we had to place an extra gown around the back for "complete coverage" I looked at him and thought, "Just what a superhero needs....a cape."

   The girls were helping with various family events so we didn't see them until later in the afternoon. It was wonderful when Dani, Steven and Bryn walked in.  The feelings of the importance of having an eternal family makes my heart swell each time I see them caring for their dad and just standing by his side.  I know we will be together for eternity and that alone seems to be enough.

  Can I just talk about his Fire and Police Brothers.  We call them "The Brethren".  I'm not even sure of the words. .....mostly....I don't know how to spell the love that they give to him and to our family.  I'm sitting here blubbering, in happiness, about how blessed we are.
 
   Two of the Brethren came by yesterday morning and served my sweetheart by shaving his scruffiness off.  They were gently and compassionate and thoughtful.  These are TRUE MEN.  They serve willingly and happily.  I am pretty sure they didn't sit around the breakfast table at the fire station and say, "Please don't make us go see Bert again!"  They have been aching to see him and he was so ready to see them yesterday.  Russ Sneddon and  Ryan Peterson shaved Kirk, helped him brush his teeth and then walked with him.  Again, no words to describe my feelings....I'm going to have to get a thesaurus.

 Nursing staff were able to remove the catheter and the arterial line in his neck.  Oxygen was removed in the afternoon but was replaced about 10 last night.  Not sure yet if it is still on this morning. 

   I have been thinking about the future, specifically, how do we do this at home? I must admit I felt some really stressful moments.  I was going to sleep at the hospital with Kirk last night, just having a hard time being away from him right now.  We were laying in the dark, him on the hospital bed, me on the most uncomfortable recliner ever made, probably both thinking about the same things.  I whispered, "Are you awake?" He said yes.  "Did you know", I continued to whisper, "That faith and fear cannot go together?"  "I have heard that said before." he whispered back.

I have had a lot of fear in the last week...wow! It has been a week! Being the control freak that I am, I keep a firm grip on that fear.  I think I'm even afraid to let the fear go! Now, how crazy is that? Wait...let's not go into the crazy discussion;)  I know I have faith and I know Kirk has faith.  Why does fear seem easier to hold onto?  It's like I am hauling it around in my purse, in my pockets, even in my mind.  Well....I decided last night that I am giving it away...Free Fear!!  Bucket, Bushel, Truckload!  You can have it but I wouldn't recommend it.  I am going to get a new purse and it is going to be filled with faith.  And it will be fabulously cute too;)
Love to you all!

Hardware and Software

   Day 5 started out with a bang!  Kirk was moved from ICU to room 486.  Yes, it was at 3 AM but the doctor had decided of all of the ICU patients he was the one doing the best!!! You've got to take great news every time you can!!

   I told Kirk it's almost like we have moved from the Hilton to Motel 6.  ICU rooms were BIG. Our room is much smaller but that is good as visitors don't stay quite as long and Kirk gets a bit more rest.  I hope you all took that in the most positive way possible;)

   Angela, Dr. Gardner's Nurse Practitioner, came by to see us in the morning. Wow!  She is so knowledgeable and just as fun and friendly as Dr. Gardner.  She was even able to show us x-rays of the hardware they have installed in "Superfly" Bertelsen. It is absolutely amazing what these doctor's can do.

   They have stopped the pain meds going into Kirk's epidural which has increased his pain quite a bit.  He spent most of the day at a 6 or 7 but that did not stop him from walking with the therapists.  He made 3 laps around the nurses station and they were about to take him to his room when the therapist mentioned that 3 laps on this floor was equal to 2 laps in ICU.  Kirk made them do one more lap.  Well paint me surprised!

   Tomorrow is going to be a BIG day.  The plan is to actually remove the epidural and possibly the catheter.  The chest tube may come out also if his fluid output is acceptable.  The doctor told us it would be a rough couple of days but also said he will feel so much better after the chest tube is out.

   The girls continue to be at Kirk's side most of the day.  What a blessing.  They attend to his needs, feeding him, making sure he has everything right at hand.  We have only had immediate family visitors today and Kirk has been able to get more rest.  It was so good to see our nephew Jake, who will be getting married on Saturday!! We are so excited for him and sad not to be right in the middle of things with them.  My brother Kevin also came by and that did our hearts so good.  He always so fun to visit with.  Kenny, our oldest nephew was the last visitor of the day.  For those of you that know him, yes....he was rockin' his high pony.  For those of you that don't know him.....we have encouraged a haircut to which he said "It's here to stay and I am going to go test it out on one of the nurses."  He makes us laugh so much!  These heartfelt and emotional visits have softened the blows of the last few days and we feel so blessed.

   Kenny was very reflective with Kirk.  He was on the ride with Kirk and Steven when this happened and we worry that BOTH of them feel like this is their fault.  Let me assure everyone...this was meant to happen.  Whether they were riding motorcycles or walking down the street, we are meant to be on this adventure.  We are meant to slow things down and be more grateful for the things we have been blessed with. We are meant to appreciate the small and simple things in each moment.  Life has been going to fast, too furious....like a REALLY bad movie;)

   If you haven't ever read the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, I highly suggest it.  In fact, it is your reading assignment for this weekend. (There is a movie for you slow readers) It is a super fast read and you should be able to get through it.  Bertelsen fam...you are excused from this assignment for the weekend ONLY because of the wedding.  After reading this you will come to understand that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!! We may not know it today or ever in this earth life, but at some point in our existence, we will know the whys.

   I have been trying to send this pics of the hardware to the blog but I am having a tough time.  Keep checking back ...I'll get them here somehow.

   How do we ever thank all of you for your love, messages, prayers and support.  We will truly be indebted to you forever.  Love to you all!

Feeling The Love and Making Laps....

   It is the third day since our adventure began. It is two days since surgery. We continue to be amazed, inspired and so blessed. We are sitting here together, me, Kirk and the girls, and our conversation is alive with feelings of gratitude for our blessings and friends.

Mitch, therapist, Kevin Kemp, amazing Friend/Fire Brother/Life Flight Paramedic, Kirk "Superfly" Bertelsen, Mitch, Therapist.,

   Kirk has had a great day today. After he was fitted for his support brace and walked ten steps outside of his room yesterday, we all had great expectations for today. Kirk, on the other hand, was the one in pain and totally exhausted from yesterday's excursion. When Adam, the trauma room PA, stopped in to check on Kirk this morning, Kirk asked if he could request to not get up and walk again until his chest tube was removed. Adam said, "You can request that all you want but you WILL be getting up today." I don't know that I have ever heard Kirk be so compliant as when he said, "Okay."
   Kirk continues to impress everyone caring for him as well as those who love him so much. Today he made three laps around the nurses desk with his therapists. He ate well today and spent the evening having his nurse rotate him from side to side for 20 minutes each time trying to drain the fluid from his lungs in an effort to prevent pneumonia. She is so diligent with him and we are so grateful.
   I was speaking with a very dear friend today, Tim Anderson, a physical therapist who found himself in a similar situation about three years ago when he crashed his four wheeler. His body sustained a lot of damage and Tim spent months healing and learning basic things such as how to walk again. Oh, how we take these things for granted. I told Tim we could feel the prayers of all of our friends. He said he never understood that phrase until he experienced prayers from his family and friends through his Journey of healing. Your prayers have have sustained us. They have brought peace in a very unsettling situation. I'm a little bit of a control freak and this adventure does not make allowances for personality flaws such as mine. Feeling the prayers has helped me keep my hands inside until the ride comes to a complete stop. I've turned the steering over to those who know the way. Such a hard thing to do.
   I've been reading your comments to Kirk every night. We have laughed at some of our incredibly clever friends and held on tight to the well wishes. Kirk asked me to make sure that tonight's post thanked all of you. So...THANK YOU a million times! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the phone calls, texts and comments on the blog and the Facebook updates. Thank you for the visits and even for being okay with not visiting so he can get enough rest to push himself during therapy. You have no idea how grateful we are.
    Kirk and I talked about how much we love Dr. Gardner. He is fun to visit with when he stops in but most of all, the man knows what he is doing. We have no idea how we got so blessed to have him as our surgeon. Kirk said, "I know he gets paid a lot but how do we ever repay him." The only answer I could come up with is that we are now indebted to him. We are okay with this.
   We went  one step further....Heavenly Father has given us so much, so much that we take for granted. Walking, eating unassisted, being able to move your body to make it comfortable without fear, even being able to go to work each day. All of these blessing that we are so freely given. How do we pay him back?
    I am certain our adventure will have its ups and downs, highs and lows and everything in between. I am so glad to have you along for the ride.

The Climb....

   Well, here we are....less than 24 hours after a surgery that took almost nine hours to repair the 12th thoracic vertabrea in Kirk's back.
   Dr. Gardner is either a magician, or just freaking amazing!  Everything went as well as could be expected during surgery and Dr. Gardner was very optimistic.  The majority of the Bertelsen family...more than 20 of them, sat together in the surgical waiting room anticipating a five hour surgery.  What relief we all felt as Dr. Gardner came out and sat down next to me with a very pleasant look on his face.  He made small talk for a bit but must have sensed our anxiety and finally gave us the glorious news.
   Kirk was measured on Saturday night by Ross from Northwest Prosthetic's for an"turtle shell" brace that he will wear for a while, helping everything stay straight and still so he can heal.  Wouldn't you know that when given a choice in the pattern he would like on it, he chose digital camo. I hope we don't lose him;)

   Ross came in this afternoon with the new brace and put it on Kirk. The therapy team was called in and they went to work getting Kirk to sit up.  It was very difficult for him and once he got to a sitting position he had to stay there for about 15 minutes just to let the lightheadedness go away.  Then Kirk said to the therapist, "Should we see if I can stand?" They helped him to a standing position.  Kirk thought he might pass out but he wanted to stand there, and he did for a few more minutes.  This may shock some of you, but Kirk said, "Should we see if I can walk?" I am not sure if the therapists have had such a willing and persistent patient but they were happy to oblige.  Kirk was able to walk about 10 steps outside of his room, with a therapist on each side, before he was completely worn out.

   In the last 48 hours the blessings have poured in. Kirk has had more than 100 visitors, phone calls, texts and messages on facebook.  The nurses have had to stop the visitors for a while so he can just have a rest.  I told Kirk I was worried that he wasn't getting enough rest and he insisted on seeing his Orem City Brothers because they make his day go so much better and faster.
   I don't know what I would do without our family, their strength and love have truly buoyed us up.  My girls have been so incredible, strong, and even graceful in their approach with everyone even though their emotions are running high.  They are so hopeful, as we are all, that their hero will heal.
   He will.  You know it and I know it.
   This is the beginning of our climb to the top of an amazing mountain.  We will do this together, united as family and friends and with the help of our Father in Heaven....all things are possible.