My Gladiator

Day 27. It's been a good day. Wait...every day is a good day. Yes, some are better than others, but they are all good. He gets a little bit better every day. His pain still fluctuates and he is going a little stir-crazy but that is all to be expected.

I got home from work this afternoon and Kirk and Bryn were watching a movie called Gladiator.


Not sure if any of you have seen it, it's pretty violent, not my type of movie at all. However, watching Maximus, the main guy (wish I could tell you the actor's name, but, I'm not really a movie person), as he battled in the Coliseum wearing his armor, I saw Kirk. Powerful, strong, determined, focused, handsome. If Maximus had a choice, I think he would have chosen digital camo for his armor too;).



Kirk and I have been married for more than 25 years, blissful years. Kirk says it's 23 plus two years. I will agree that every single moment hasn't been perfect. There have been some disagreements here and there but I do not think they add up to two years. Besides, he went to school in Springville and I am not entirely sure that his mathematic skills are what they should be (sorry Red Devil friends).

Some of our highlights: Dani, Bryn, Steven, Maizy, Sadie, Mr. Bunny, Nikita, Oliver, Laska, Ebeneezer, Jasper, Spike 1 and Spike 2, Hitler the cat, Jazz, Crazy, Buddy, Gidget, Macaroni, several fish, Tweety, Makai, The Non'ts, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Family, 9 different moves, mostly on a national holiday, Bertelsen parties, camping, 4 wheeling, at least 27 different vehicles, countless motorcycles, sleep overs in our room, firetrucks, police cars, boating, Christmas Eve jammies, jumping on the trampoline, stick ponies, birthday surprises, laughing, crying, laughing some more.

I have a perma-grin right now just thinking about the girls at different times in their lives. They both have such a strong bond with Kirk, and with me, but they are definitely their "daddy's girls". They have pony-tailed his hair (when he had some), painted his nails and played lego for hours on the floor. He has taught them to ride a bike, drive a four-wheeler, drive a car, even fix a rear differential on a 66 Chevy truck. They have gone boating, camping, riding and shooting with their dad. He has given one "away" only to gain a son and friend. He has guided, grounded and given so much to these two. And they continue to give back. Don't you love it when kids learn good things from you? He is their hero, and mine. He is our Gladiator

Looking back on this list of beautiful moments in the last quarter of a century has altered my description of our life together. Yes, they have been blissful, but maybe Kirk is a little closer on the accuracy of it all. It is 23 years plus 2 years of a little bit better every day.






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rare

I am having one of the most relaxing evenings I have had in almost a month. Today is day 26 of the adventure. Kirk is drifting in and out of sleep. I know this because his body twitches, then he snores very softly and it grows louder and LOUDER until it wakes him up. Then we start all over again. It is a beautiful sight and sound. How glad I am that I can hear him and see him.

The kids came over tonight, after being here most of the day, and cooked a delicious dinner of BBQ pork roast, grilled veggies and toasted garlic bread. Kirk had seconds! So, so rare anymore. Okay, most of us had seconds! It was THAT good! Thank you so much Steven, Dani and Bryn!


Kirk had his last therapy visit today. He will start again when he gets to stand without the turtle shell, a couple of months away from now. I just want to thank Brad Bennett for being a fabulous Physical Therapist, enduring our dogs and being such an encouragement to Kirk. He has taken the time to not only do his job but to get to know us. What a rarity in our society. When he arrived today Buddy started squeaking in happiness. That is also rare.




In fact.....much of what we have experienced in the last 26 days would be considered rare. My ADD brain has started pinging around on rare things and I thought of perfect scores in the Olympics, winning the lottery and even diamonds.

How do these things apply to our adventure? Easy....we are going for that rare, perfect score. Having Kirk here, is even better than winning the lottery (I think;)). And a diamond, the hardest substance known to man, starts out as a lump of coal and with incredible amounts of pressure and heat it becomes one of the most sought after, beautiful treasures.

As we continue through our adventure there is sure to be pressure-a-plenty and enough heat to make us boil but it will end up beautiful. We will become better, we will be stronger and we will shine!

Love to you all!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Choices

We have been blessed with two thoughtful, compassionate, giving daughters and, as a bonus, we have also acquired one amazing son-in-law. As many in the family have said, Dani sure set the bar high when she agreed to marry Steven. Some day, we fully expect to have another son-in-law that will challenge Steven's "favorite Son-In-Law" status;).







Throughout Dani and Bryn's lives we have tried to instill the very simple fact that "Attitude is Everything". It is really that easy.

25 days since the adventure began and almost every visitor to our home, on the phone, in comments on the blog and facebook, talks about how positive we have been through this whole journey. What we hope everyone realizes is that it is a choice, a very conscious effort, to make the best of everything.

It can be so easy to be consumed by the negativity in everyday life. How many times have you checked facebook to see what was going on with your friends to find a bunch of comments relaying to the world how bad their day was, how unhappy they are or how much they hate their job? It is not only consuming, it is contagious!!

In EVERY situation in life, you have two choices: You can make the best of it or you can make the worst of it. It's your choice.

This philosophy is the core of our beliefs and guides the actions in our lives. It also gives great comfort to control freaks, such as myself. No matter what the situation, no matter what someone else says or does to hurt you, you can CHOOSE to make the best of it by controlling YOUR thoughts, words and actions and only sharing the positive ones.

Just so you know, our adventure is no cake walk. It is probably more emotionally draining than anything else. Kirk made the comment to one of our neighbors today that he used to think it would be great if all he had to do was lay in bed and watch TV. After 25 days in bed and only 20 minutes of standing/sitting/walking at a time, he has changed his mind. He has been in pain, achy, frustrated, tired and even helpless at times. Would you know it if you stopped by or called? Probably not. Why? He has chosen to make the best of it and that is what he will share.

We both want to thank you for the continued prayers for Kirk, his healing and our family. Thank you for the service you continue to give and the thoughtful words you share. This all helps us to persevere, to make the best of the adventure and to learn the most that we can so that some day we can help lighten someone else's load.
Love to you all!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I Need A Turtle Not A Hare

Whew...I am amazed at just how quickly time flies when you are having fun:)



I wasn't able to post, again, yesterday due to a crazy day filled with work and Kirk. I don't know that I ever truly realized how a caregiver, especially one with a full-time job and lots of help and support, got to the end of the day but not the end of the work.

From the outside looking in one would think it could be done. On the inside, I am wishing for three or four more hours in a day. What would I do with those extra hours? I am not really sure, probably whatever needed my attention at that moment. My ideal thought would be to get some more sleep:) Instead, I am vacuuming at 6:30 in the morning, dusting at 10:30 PM, laundry even later, worrying, loading the dishwasher, giving back and foot massages to help alleviate pain, worrying some more, going to work, chasing down prescriptions, having them filled, picking them up, and I just realized I did not shower today.....or yesterday for that fact. In my spare time I sleep and blog;)

Kirk is doing well, physically. He continues to defy all expectations of healing, which can be good and bad. Good, because he is making such huge improvements almost daily. Bad, because he pays for escalating his efforts with bouts of increased pain, especially through the night and in the morning.

I saw Dr. Paul Gardner yesterday and as soon as he saw me he asked, "How's our guy?" I told him that Kirk is doing well, working hard and had even walked a mile in one walk. He looked concerned and said, "Tell him to slow down." When I got home from work I told Kirk about the conversation. I was unprepared for the reaction from Kirk. He was deflated. All of his hard work, physical improvement and positive attitude had not impressed Dr. Gardner. Yes, he is healing so rapidly but, as Dr. Gardner told us from the beginning, "This is a marathon, not a sprint."

Prior to the beginning of our adventure, about 5 months, to be exact, Kirk started exercising. This is of great importance to our situation as his exercise regimen consisted of every six months, one day prior to the physical test he had to pass in order to continue employment as a Public Safety Officer in Orem, he would go to the nearest sporting supply store and ask the shoe specialist "Show me your fastest shoes." Without fail, the barely 16 year old "specialist" would point to a pair and Kirk would get his size and head home. No other preparations for this very important test ever occurred. He never failed the test, sometimes even improved his scores. Many of his Brethren considered him a freak of nature. No exercise outside of your normal daily routine and you make improvement? Who does that?

Back to the change Kirk made five months ago......all of a sudden he had the inspiration to start walking. He didn't start small, which may surprise a few of you. Nope. He was doing between 2-4 miles each day in the beginning, increasing almost daily to sometimes as much as 12 miles in a day. He lost 30 pounds before the crash, 10 more since then. As we look back we see the hand of Heavenly Father guiding and inspiring us to make needed changes in our life to be in the best position possible for our current situation. Can you imagine what the outcome could have been with 30 more pounds landing on that vertebrae? Would that have severed his spinal cord? Would he even be here?

Needless to say, training for a marathon is totally outside of this man's understanding. I need to find a way to help him mentally prepare, to pace himself, to not get discouraged. The last two days have exhausted him.... and me.....mentally. Something else that we need to learn. Another challenge we are grateful for.

We have been given a miracle and we will not waste it!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Moments

Life is so amazing when you stand back, take a breath and focus on the precise moment you are in. How many times today have you focused on any one moment? Have there been moments today that should have been savored but in the bustle of life they passed by with hardly a thought? Let me share a couple of ours.......


Day 20. Date night. We decided to stay in tonight:) Glad we did or we would have missed some great company.

The first picture is of one of the many girls we claim as our own, Dani Brady, and her boys Jack and Nick. Dani has been in our life for about 15 years and has been one of our Dani's best friends. The dogs were so glad to have them here and the boys were totally mesmerized by Kirk and his "crash video".


This last picture is an older one of Jim and Danielle Carly and their adorable kids (L-R) Eli, Kate, Porter and Whitney. Jim is actually our cousin but we refer to him as a brother and the kids call them Aunt and Uncle when introducing them to anyone. Kirk and I look up to them (even though they are slightly younger, okay...and maybe shorter....) in so many ways and feel so blessed to have them in our lives.
Jim and Danielle came over tonight and Jim installed a remote control on the fan in the bedroom for Kirk. Something so simple for Jim but that will make such a difference for Kirk on a daily basis.
I hope you don't get tired of me telling you how utterly amazing our daughters are. I don't know that a day has passed in the last 20 that they have not been right here, wherever here is at the time, to support and care for Kirk and me. Dani and Bryn are the two best things that have ever happened to us.
We have blessings like this every day. Again, a small amount of time out of their lives makes such a difference in ours. I brought Chinese food home for our date night. Here's a picture of my fortune:



May you be just as blessed:)

Swagger, Soda and Sis

   19 days since the accident and life at home seems to have found it's groove. We've changed up the ever-changing routine, again, trying to find the happy medium of comfort and pain control by starting the day with a walk.  It was early but we all had a smile on our face, even the dogs.  Kirk is hoping that a wake-up walk will help his muscles stretch back out after a night in bed.  I am hopeful with him. And we will see what tomorrow brings.

   Kirk's favorite, and extremely young, sister Peg came by today bearing a soda and a smile.  Bryn and Dani both got some "Dad Time" today too.  I know it helps his day go by so much faster when someone is there with him.

He is absolutely "desausted" as our niece Haillie would say. He walked a few times tonight stepping up the speed and not looking back. He is facing forward on his recovery and his focus is to get up, get stronger, get well and get back to work.

I read Kirk some of the wonderful comments you have left here, on Facebook and in my email and he is so surprised that he has inspired anyone. "Why would anyone be inspired by a guy who did something dumb and has to work at getting better? Doesn't everyone who gets hurt just want to get better as fast as they can?". Actually, I don't think that is always the case. I think Kirk is an amazing exception.

Bryn and I walked with him this evening. I took the camera along, just incase something would inspire my thoughts tonight. I was walking behind him and noticed the guy has some swagger with that turtle vest on! It's a good thing he had other clothing on or we may have lost him in the camo. He was even able to climb the three steps to he door with no assistance. It is all progress and we will take it bit by bit, piece by piece until the beautiful picture is all put back together.

Patience Grasshopper.....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Other Side

How many times have you heard the scripture from Matthew 25:30 that states, "Verily I say unto you, that inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."? In the last 18 days I believe I have a much better understanding of the love our Savior has for us and how important it is for us to share that love through our service to others.

In responding to an email from the Relief Society President, Karen Murray, tonight this scripture kept coming to the forefront of my mind. She was asking how things were going and letting me know of meals she had scheduled for us and if there was anything else we needed.

Yes, there is one thing we still need....a way to thank everyone for the blessings they have brought to our family through their service.

Through our amazing Mapleton 21st Ward family, our immediate and extended family, our friends and co-workers/brethren/employers (Orem City Fire and Police, Freedom Home Health and Hospice), we have been the recipients of delicious meals, desserts, snacks, walking buddies, companionship, cleaning, visiting, medical equipment, phone calls, emails of encouragement and most importantly, prayers on our behalf.

When Kirk first came home I was confident I could handle everything. Karen and her husband Brian were one of our first visitors and she asked if the ward could provide meals. I was going to tell her we would be fine but she quickly insisted that I let the sisters have the opportunity to serve. I can tell you from personal experience that I ALWAYS receive more blessings when serving someone. I never imagined the blessings on the other side of that service.

Kirk and I were talking about what we are learning through our adventure and one of the first things he said was, "I am not going to avoid going to visit someone who has had surgery or an injury anymore. I always thought I would be bothering them." I can't tell you how many times I have thought the same thing. Being on the other side of this situation has helped us understand how important this can be for the healing person and their family.

I want to challenge everyone reading this to think about their family, friends and neighbors. Have any of them been ill, had surgery, been homebound for one reason or another? I want you to call them, stop by, send a card or take something to them in the next 24 hours. One person. One act of service. See how it changes YOUR life. Then we would like to have a little R&R, Return and Report. Let us know in your blog comments how this made you feel. Tell us how you feel to be on the giving side of service. When you are on the other side (the receiving end) you will have a better understanding of how important it is to let someone be on the giving side.

It is always so much easier to give than to receive but don't ever cheat someone out of their blessings when it is your turn to receive. It sounds so simple....and it really is. Try it!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad